Pleasure Building with PolDark

As I've mentioned, I am working to unleash the hands of narcissism in my life as well as rebuild after decades of ramifications of dealing with RAD.  I am doing this by tending to the pleasure center in my brain.

Since I am a story lover, and especially those penned by artists from the UK, I am indulging these days in my new obsession: Poldark.  It is a series of novels written by Winston Graham set toward the end of the 1700's in Cornwall, England.

The characters are richly developed, the plot taking place at the same time my own country was in a bloody fight for her independence and the setting amidst a land which shares a similar environmental beauty to that where I have been raised.

The series created by the BBC Masterpiece extraordinary.

In addition to the novels, I am indulging in the current PBS Masterpiece Theatre series.  Having read the books and watched oodles of various video footage I am as taken as ever with the characters, acting and entirety of the story as well as the history and richness of the land and its people.

There is so much to learn and enjoy about Cornwall, England and it's history.  What the land holds for blessing is likely in part due to the two brothers who spent much time there in the mid 1700's.

     

Since the recent BBC series, tourism is up in Cornwall by 70%.

Watch here as Rick Steve's Visits Cornwall

      

                                    

This post contains affiliate links.  

                

Being Weak

Some of us were reared in an environment where being weak and having weakness was shamed.  In those places, it's hard to understand what it is to be a human....rather the idea is passed on how to barely survive, never dream of thriving, and pretend there's meaning in the midst of such constant turmoil.

The lessons taught can sound like, "People who are stronger than me will exploit me if I don't keep on my guard.  I need to increase my strengths in order to succeed in besting them before they best me."  There can be a layer of friendliness which is not very genuine as it's hard to be glad to be together when you feel threatened.  I hear it activates the part of our brain which produces responses we can thank for keeping us alive during stressful events.  From what I understand, it doesn't sound like staying in that frame of "protect self" should be on and running all the time.  We need to know we're loved, cared for, safe and that our weaknesses are nothing to be ashamed of.

The saddest part I have seen of this is when a mother shows her female daughters how to maneuver through the world of men.  In some cases, it comes across a bit like this:  use your feminine powers (strength) to give what you can to the males so they will then in turn give you their strength (attention, help, money, etc).

As I face sharing stories of those around me who are dealing with various ramifications of being afraid to allow weakness to be exposed, I long to ensure my own strengths are used in appropriate ways.  This is really important to me for all sorts of reasons.

This weekend I mumbled something to my husband about it. He knew right away what I was talking about-which in and of itself felt like a great big hug and gift (ahhhhhh....the relief of being understood!!).  He remembered hearing Dr Wilder talk about it in one of the audio sessions and set about to find it for me.

This Monday morning while children ate breakfast and worked on their chores, I grabbed a few minutes to listen to the mp3.   As I ponder how it fits in with the enormity of everything else I am learning, I realize the gentle protector skills- to recognize our weakness but protect others from our own strength when needed- are so important.  

If you're looking for language about what's gone on in your world, or you wonder what on earth has happened in the seemingly sorry world of someone you're working with, I think Dr Wilder gives really helpful language to what's dumbly struggling within some of us who have not had anyone explain it quite like this.

Click here to order the download from Life Model Works

Series Update

I am busy working on more podcasts discussing narcissism.  There is much to record, then edits must be done, uploading it to the hosting company and then building links from here to there.  Too it seems the more I share the more there is to share.  There are 43 principles I have worked out so far...at least I think they're principles.  Still have to run a lot of it past hubby to see if I'm barking up the right tree.

The 2nd episode, which I published yesterday, covers one principle.  The 3rd podcast covering what narcissists need most may very well take hours to cover properly.  I thought I would have this done more quickly but am finding there is SO much to say...

Basically, I believe there's hope for the narcissist.  

For those who are in pain because of a narcissist, I've been there.  

I know God knows the way and can show us how to walk.

He led us to this stuff, which I mention in the series....

Do you like this series?  Is what I share valuable to you?  I love hearing such reports!

26 Questions To End Procrastination Once & For All

Are you working to change something big in your life?  Need ideas?  I have created for you a buffet & smorgasbord and share links to things I highly recommend and have gleaned much from.  In order to post them for you the law says I have to tell you this.  

Is it tough for you to get stuff done? 

              

Here are 26 questions to narrow down why you might procrastinate:

1.   Do you lack vision?  Fixing that is a vital priority, for without one we waste everything.

2.   Do you lack confidence?  It comes from doing things.

3.   Can you do hard, mundane and boring things or do you avoid them?

4.   Do you lack knowledge, empathy or skills?

5.   Are you stuck in shame?

6.   Are you afraid of people?

7.   Do you suffer from low self esteem?  

8.   Did you grow up in an environment where much was accomplished yet you're not sure what to DO in order to reach your own goals?

9.    Do you know HOW to reach your goals?

10.  Do you know how you're specifically wired or are you fighting your design?  For lots of us,      learning about it is helping us make lots of needed changes.  You might like this video from my friend Arthur Burk who talks about design.  You can get the whole series here.

                                                       Arthur Burk: Introduction to the Redemptive Gifts of Individuals Seminar

11.   Do you need to learn principles in order to tackle what you were put here to do? 

12.   Do you lack technical understanding?  There's a lot to be had for those who take the time to learn it.

13.   Do you know where to start?   Do you know what to do next?

14.   Are you super creative?  Sometimes THIS affects things.

15.   Are you doing the wrong things over and over? Ignorance of principles seems to elbow itself to the front of the line as one of the major culprits.   Ignorance is NOT bliss!  I have a fantastic post about that to share later if I ever get it edited.  I hate editing.  (See #3 above)

16.   What can you do to STOP getting stuck in the ruts when you want to get moving in a direction which more reflects outwardly what's going on within you (the good stuff...not the chaos!)???

                         

17.  Were there fathering gaps in your life?  That can play a big part, too!  HUGE.

18.   Was your mum a bit lacking in helping you believe in yourself?

19.   Are you a bit low on being able to feel your own feelings?

20.  Do you have a habit of speaking curses against your progress?  We reap what we sow.  Think about sowing differently in order to reap what you want!

21.   Do you love to give but have a hard time receiving?

22.   Do you have SO many ideas, projects and such your head is spinning and you hardly know up from down or night from day?

23.   Do you feel immature??

24.   Are you terrified of failing???

25.  Are you gifted intellectually?

I CAN RELATE to each of these!  *sigh*  I struggled with all of this and more while potential swirled and stirred within me for freedom and expression.  I remember being irritated by a popular slogan which once taunted me with the simplicity which I often seemed unable to grasp.

ALL THESE THINGS CAN PLAY A PART working inwardly to cause the lack of productivity (aka procrastination) on the outside.   

            

These blog posts from a friend are a great place to start pinpointing your problem areas.  

He also shares some great ideas in these videos.

26.  Beyond the materials available here, do you want someone to troubleshoot with you? 

I love to help men and women find their vision and blast away what hinders them so they can get going on their way in life.  Others have.  Try me.  

A Gritty Work in Progress

Following the Moore formula for our family's home education processes has been an amazing and very rewarding experience.  Focusing on one third academics, one third work and one third service is a formula which really works for us.

Since celebrating God's goodness is part of a wonderful life, I share this for any of you who are comfortable rejoicing. :)   This week our eleven year old son completed high school chemistry dvd's and said he is sad to be done.

The 101 Series

is our favorite for High School Biology, Science and Physics.  We got these three dvd sets long before our oldest son entered high school.  It's great fun for all of us, especially on rainy or super cold snowy days when we can't be out there digging in the elements and enjoying nature's pages.. They watch the videos over and over! We're nerdy that way.  Two of our eleven years olds expressed how sad they were to be finished with the dvd series.  They were elated to learn about the course accreditation program (included) which offers 30 hours of labs, research and writing projects as well as discussion questions and quizzes.  

Click here to learn more about this fantastic series.