Dominion At Home

As I reflect upon the past several years, I recognize a common theme, which I have not been able to see clearly until this morning.  

Whenever my passion for something gets the better of me, certain areas of my life suffer.  

When that happens, I suffer, as do the people around me.

I suppose we all have our limitations.  You might be better at knowing yours than I have been at knowing my own.  

It is likely I have less ability to manage things in my life than I previously thought.  As I look around me, even this morning, I see loads of evidence that I am not managing well some of what I have been given.  

I ask myself: what types of activities, mindsets and processes disable my ability to keep certain aspects of my life running?  This is what I need to consider.

To run well the race set before me, I need to take inventory of what is going well, celebrate what has been shifted that is now well-stewarded which once was not, and be honest about what is currently falling below my own standards.

To give you a small example, just now when I went to the coffee pot to get the decaf brewing, I noticed what I had not last night before I retired.  The tiny kitchen is overrun with items needing immediate attention: boys winter gear & light sabers, dirty dishes, overflowing trash.  

The one person who has the duty to care for the dishes can knock that chore out in about 30 minutes (fewer if he can resist the temptation to be distracted).  The snowsuits and boy toys can be put away in seconds; trash remedied in moments.

What is at the heart of it all, and the reason I share, is because I know that in the past two days I have been obsessed with what is happening in certain areas of my nation.  Putting such intense focus on moment-by-moment news has sucked all the energy out of me for making sure my home is running properly.

Who cares about a well-run home?  I do!!!  It is the one physical place where I spend almost all of my time, as do these children!  It is supposed to be a nurturing place; a place of warmth and of acceptance where love and hope are continually renewed.  

In the past days it has been anything but.  

I see now how giving almost all of my attention to what is happening nationally impedes my ability to keep these home fires burning.  The result?  The fruit?  The children have been fighting; my husband has barely had a proper meal in days and we have all been sustained on bits of nourishment here and there without any proper oversight from me.

I have also sadly neglected my self, which is the life-long pattern I have spent the past several years learning how to adjust.  

As I write this, I can see how ignoring my needs starts the cycle of not giving others what they need and deserve: my time, my love, my EFFORT.  

To see that I have not given my self time, love or effort is sobering.  Being indifferent towards myself does not bless anyone.

My soul is finite and can only do so much on any given day.

As I continue the journey of learning to live life as a whole person, I continue to need to make changes in order to better execute this life for which I am so exuberant.

While I know it is not the end of the world, it needs to be the end of me doing too much in one area and not enough in others.  Physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health matter, no matter what is happening in Washington D.C. or anywhere else in the nation and world.

I am reminded of Kris Ann Hall's words this week: we must focus on our local and state governing bodies in order to affect real change.  Similarly, I must turn my focus to making myself and then my home a place of beauty and of peace and of faith in the One who gives us breath.  That process begins with my heart, soul, mind and body, which have been VERY busy with matters too far beyond my reach.

Yes, I pray for God's will on the earth, and I agree with Him to make happen here what He would like, and I will continue to intercede where He leads; however I must also put in the work of what He has given me to do...here...today.  My realm is that of this little home; tending to its bodies and its needs is my responsibility, as is caring for my own self!  

Real transformation begins inside of us, and from that place, rivers of life can flow.  

It is time to focus first on what matters most.  The 80/20 principle comes to mind, as do so many others.  I will now take courage to return to what needs to have my first priority...and then from a place of strength there, will see what is left to give beyond the hearth and home.

Man Love, Fathering and a Wife/Mama's Dream

It's the normal moments in life which make me swoon. 

I just overheard these two talking while they work on food prep for next week:

The tall Guy, slicing hard boiled eggs for our salads said, "We've gotta get better at keeping our cool when we're frustrated so we're not scary. I need to do that too." 

Andrew (age 13), smashing the egg yokes, replied, "I thought you were the perfect Dad." Then he sniggered and said, "Just kidding."

Tall Guy responded: "Nope. I'm not."

Andrew answered: "You're the perfect dad for me."

Me: [sitting over here pretending not to hear while I run to tell you]  🥰😍🤩🤣👏 🙌

For the Married Folks

Take a listen to Rabbi Daniel Lapin's podcast "How to Master the Curiously Complicated Machinery of Marriage"

Another First for A Son

First born
First day
First coo & giggle
Words so fast

First sit, then crawl, then steps!
Fast forward through so many firsts 
Now the job he's long sought! 

How elated I still feel as he reaches out to the world beyond, embracing what's his to enjoy and 
So proud of him
Even after more than 17 years of savoring each first. 

Motherhood is one of THE sweetest things.

Blooming Boys

This morning our middle son Andrew (13) asked to visit the village library.  He likes helping organize and working with the librarian Miss Shirley.  He spent an hour or two with her and then his Dad drove up to get him as a thunderstorm dampened all our doors; it wasn't safe for him to walk home as he would normally.

This afternoon our firstborn son Luke (17) headed off walking to the local village burger joint for his first official work day washing dishes.  This has been a long time coming and it was especially sweet to send him off with blessings of fun.  How he and I have longed and waited for him to have a practical outlet to spend his enormous energy in a way that he can trade for money!  Congratulations Luke!  

Also today, our third son David (11) worked through all the steps necessary to prepare and bake his own lemon cake for his birthday tomorrow (yes, he prefers to make his own!) and is now walking through the steps to make butter cream frosting.  He likes when I help him find a youtube video. I quickly scan the list looking for practical and simple how-to's, show him and then let him choose which one he'd like best to follow.  Once he's done he heads to the kitchen, watches the video stoping, rewinding and reviewing as needed and working diligently on all the details until he's done!  An impressive scratch baker, he is also learning about how to use substitutions such as stevia, honey, coconut or almond flour, coconut oil and other items we keep on hand instead of the old traditional foods we (mostly) no longer keep supplied for health reasons.

I am so proud of my sons who have each been groomed by their Papa to do real life here at home.  What a blessing it is to know our little men are prospering in life as well as in their studies.  The Moore Formula of 1/3 work, 1/3 service and 1/3 academics is such a fantastic foundation to build upon and I'm grateful each day for the opportunity to walk alongside these children while they grow and learn and become who they will be.  

How Should We Then Live??

If you click a link I provide here, I might earn a small commission at NO EXTRA charge to you.

During my first and only year at bible college, I had the ridiculous pleasure of sitting under the teaching of Dr. Jack Layman.  He made history and western civ MIND BLOWING.  He introduced me also to philosophy which fascinated me beyond words.  

Over the course of those two semesters, he shared Francis Schaeffer's HOW SHOULD WE THEN LIVE video; the book was required reading.  I am forever grateful for that time and for Dr. Layman helping bring my mind up to speed with how/why our culture IS the way it is.  

Last night I was wow'ed all over when hubby and I started watching this with our two older children who are studying western civilization via a fantastic homeschool curriculum written by Linda Hobar called Mystery of History.

I love the way Schaeffer weaves in art and science along with religious practices while taking us along to places where it all happened.  The filming is brilliant.  Our 17 year old son who excels as a film maker, enjoyed the artistic story telling.  

It helps me make sense anew of where we are today.  I look forward to the next 10 weeks as we study and discuss ramifications.  The conversation last night was stellar and lasted hours past the first lesson.

Not So Terrible Two's

Before the internet made it's way into many of our homes, in my quest make life work in the setting of family existence, I happened upon a radio broadcast featuring John Rosemond.  He and the host were talking about the book, "Family of Value" and I remember going fast to the local bookstore that same week.  The receipt is still in the back of the book.

That book has travelled through many moves, heartaches and ups and downs within our family.  Anytime I read even a sentence I am jolted back to the reality of how important logic, limits and sanity are for the family...and how G*d's intention is for families to live well together.  The author  tells like it is and gives principle after principle about what's really needed within the family...and his sobering honesty and humor are part of the reason (literally) I agreed to mother my husband's seven children (I bore him six). 

I found another concept explained well in the book Making the Two's Terrific by the same writer.  I was fascinated by his ideas and had not heard them anywhere else.   I had not known anyone to have his perspective or that type of attitude or success with children.   Since my innards believed he was RIGHT I set out to try and experimented using his methods on our sweet and feisty toddlers...and I was very pleased to find he was right. 

Now after 15 years of testing and working with his ideas as well as seeing the bad affects when those principles are NOT done (a cultural plague which I call the missing generation), I am still recommending his books, etc to anyone who cares to listen.  :)  I'll share more later about the specifics.

Keep reading for reviews of his great stuff:

John Rosemond's A Family of Value presents a critical view of the child care literature of the past quarter century and argues for an end to overindulgent parenting and a return to the goal of instilling moral values, such as responsibility, respectfulness, and resourcefulness.

In a completely revised and updated edition of his classic parenting guide, nationally recognized expert John Rosemond offers practical, tantrum-free methods for raising toddlers and getting them through the “terrible” times from age eighteen to thirty-six months. 

Focusing on the developmental period spanning age eighteen to thirty-six-months, which renowned parenting expert John Rosemond dubs, “the twos,” Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific! offers practical parenting advice to ensure that every child’s “twos” are terrific.

By offering comprehensive tips on everything from toilet training to developing good habits for bedtime, as well as disciplinary techniques to control aggressive behaviors, Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific! approaches parenting in a straightforward, accessible manner that is easy for parents to implement and achieve success with their toddlers.

No bribing, meltdowns, nudging, or cajoling are necessary. All parents need is consistent, firm, and loving interactions with their toddler to guide him or her during the developmental years. The methods described by Rosemond also translate to success throughout other life endeavors such as school, relationship building, and even productivity in the distant tween and teen years. To ensure that earthquaking foot stomps, decibel-shattering screaming, and consistently stubborn behavior are not the norm for your toddler, consult Rosemond’s Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific!.   

All ideas expressed here are my own unless otherwise noted. This post may contain affiliate links.  If you purchase something through an affiliate link, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you - which helps support my large and ever growing family.  :) Also, I hope you'll consider supporting my writing, digital graphic arts, podcasts and more by becoming a patron!

Getting It RIGHT.

A theme through my life within God's Body has been the issue of what He means for us to understand when we read the scriptures.  Knowledge is of course important, as we see in Proverbs, however I am always drawn back to the Pharisees in Jesus' day who KNEW the word of God better than anyone and yet denied the Word of God when He stood in front of them.  

Rather than bowing their intellectual knee to Him, they argued.  I do believe there is a veil over the eyes which God only can remove, and while I don't know how that works I know there is ample biblical proof that it is God's work to reveal to the hearts of men and women who He is.  I respect that even though I don't understand it.

During my early years within the community of God's people, I loved learning about the Hebrew mindset.  This affected me very much in my own personal approach to studying the scriptures as well as how I approach educating our six children.  

A teaching by a pastor blew me out of the water as he shared the affects of Greek thinking on our modern day Christianity in the west.  Many men I greatly respect who are full of love and walking in truth wax eloquent about the issues pertaining to the lens by which we approach scripture.  I look forward to sharing those resources with you as time goes by.

Last week I recorded an audio clip to challenge our belief systems.  I will share it once I get the clear "go ahead."  Until then, I have requested this book from our local public library because of a great chat I had with my small group yesterday.  

We sat at a coffee shop and actually recorded a lengthy discussion to share with you.  I hope to edit that this week and publish it along with the introductory podcast from our small group where we discuss the issue of doing life together with people with whom we can take off our masks.  

Blessings to you and PEACE as you continue to seek the God of Abraham alone.  

~Kate

By law, in order to share links to certain resources, I have to tell you that I have an affiliation.  Read my official affiliate disclosure here. 

Infant Skills Every Adult Needs

This looks amazing.
"As a responsible parent you are constantly looking for best practices to raising your child. You feel the stress over figuring out what they should eat, how much sleep they should get, when to say no and learning the best ways to soothe your anxious child to sleep. You give so much detail to raising your child that you miss a critical component, helping your baby develop in maturity.

This new episode of Wilder Chats, Michael Sullivant and the Rev. Kitty Wilder discuss the stages of maturity at the infant stage (birth to four years old). Every caring parent will learn basic needs to help a baby mature into a child. Also, gain insights on where you might be lacking in maturity as an adult because of what you missed as an infant. Watch to find out how you can fill the maturity holes holding you back from your true potential.
Follow us on Facebook or subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch Wilder Chats. Start watching this new episode as early as 4:00 PM ET on Facebook."

A Caution for Fathers

You might know I'm jammed full with a lot of exuberance for God's life.  You may also know I had the stuffing kicked out of me for some decades and so sometimes the exuberance comes out sounding a bit unintelligible.  I am also fierce and so when all that is combined, well ya might feel like you're getting a blast of raw me.  As the weeks and months pass, I hope I get better at communicating from my perspective as I walk out His principles in my simple life.  

As I hinted at before, sometimes I do a lot of spluttering in order to say what I mean.  Other times my innards know something my soul dumbly struggles to express.  As I continue to feel called to share from within, I REALLY appreciate you taking the time to listen, read (etc) while I go through the processes of expressing with more and more excellence.    

In these two podcasts I natter out a few cautions for anyone who is in the role of fathering someone else.  I think the principles pertain to men who are actively fathering their biological children and I think they also apply to those whom God wants to use to father His spiritual children.  There are relational principles to keep in mind. 

There are also men who are not biological fathers who are needed to father spiritual children as well as women who are called to as well (as strange as that might sound).  I don't claim to know much at all!  I am merely fascinated by this whole thing.

Here is part one.

Here is part two.

Please consider leaving your thoughts, feelings and feedback below.  I would love to have group chat about this...as it's near and dear to my heart, mind and life and I believe it has everything to do with discipling the nations!

A Reason for Handwriting

Emerson Eggerichs LOVE & RESPECT

Life After Church from Arthur Burk

Please support my podcast work HERE.

Edited to add:  When Papa says SAY IT then we must.  The caution I recorded today is not for those situations.  :)

Podcast: Unhelpful Things Wives Do with Their Husbands

Learn more about Laura Doyle here.

Learn more about Emmerson Eggerichs here.

Building Community

SO exciting.

I love learning HOW to build community.  Dr Wilder's materials have helped me SO much...and now he's offering it in 2 new videos!  HOORAY.  

I just bought two individual passes - one for hubby and one for me.  His stuff is SO WONDERFUL....OH MY THIS is BOUND TO BE GOOD STUFF.

Check it out by clicking HERE and see if it's something you're interested in.  It's $9.99 for an individual.

Martial Principles Wives Need to Know!

Hello and welcome to the second post in the series called Honoring the King within Marriage.  You can read part one HERE.

As I share in the podcast and subsequent info below,  I'm excited for God's people to know about resources created by people who understand the importance of knowing and living by principles.  

Principle.  

Noun.

A fundamental, primary, or general law or truth from which others are derived:

                                  the principles of modern physics.

To hear today's audio blurb, please listen to the podcast below.

Episode Length  23:17 minutes

Download this episode (right click and save)

For more info and resources, please continue reading!

From Laura Doyle's Facebook page today I noticed she's hosting a free webinar again! It's for any wives who are interested in renewing intimacy with their husbands.

Husbands: please feel free to forward this to your wives or others if you think they'll be interested.  There's a share button at the bottom of this post.  Feel free to copy and past the link to this page/post, too. 

Personally, I think Laura's stuff is awesome as she shares marital principles which are much needed for many of us who lack skills and knowledge.   I went through her free webinar about six months ago and loved it.  Whenever I apply the principles she shares my hubby immediately notices the difference.   

I'm signing up again because I need to hear this more than once!!

Here's what she writes about the webinar:

"Women, are you looking to renew the spark with your significant other?

In this FREE webinar,  I want to teach you the secrets to empowering your man, getting respect and reconnecting within your relationship. 

I'll teach you how to use your feminine gifts to ignite his "hero gene," critical ways to express your desires, a few key steps you can take today to feel more confident and so much more - all in the name of making your relationship easy and peaceful again.

Will you join me and countless others in renewing the spark in our relationships? It all starts by signing up for this FREE webinar.   Don't delay - learn how to transform your relationship for the better today."

You can sign up for her free webinar HERE.

 Click here to learn more about her books.

Below you can click through to watch her program on Amazon Prime:

Here are some books she has written:

                                        

Here's a wonderful resource I mentioned in the podcast...a book by Emerson Eggerichs.

You can click the image below and go into the site where you can hear an audio sample and purchase it in print, audio or kindle:

Too, I briefly mentioned this book.

Last and definitely NOT least, here is Mark Gungor, author of many books and dvd's and Pastor behind the brilliant 
Mark Gungor Show.

Click the image below to learn more and to purchase the DVD for your home, church, study group, etc.



Click below to watch a short (and in my opinion very funny) clip of A Tale of Two Brains by Mark Gungor

I love talking about making marriage better.  To read more, you can check out another blog I started called Pioneering Again.  

[I'm still sorting out how to streamline the information & resources since EFL covers a broad range of much needed stuff.]

What are YOUR thoughts, feelings and experiences?  I'd love to hear from YOU!  Please comment below or send me an email!

Blessings on your journey to honor the King of Kings within marriage and to encourage those who do!
~Kate

Boys To Men: A Personal Story

As I train up children, one son of the five is especially gifted in the art of knowing his own mind. Washing, drying and putting away the family dishes (with no machines to help) has been his particular and recent scene of battle as it was for a brother before him. This son has never been shy to express his opinions and that particular work has been distasteful to him since day one.

Yesterday, I had planned a very special outing for Valentine's Day. Since the weather has been 20 degrees F (-6 Celsius) and lower for months, we were due to experience temperatures in the 40's (4 Celsius). A trip was planned to traipse up our hill, dig out the snow and get a nice fire blazing. Hot dogs and s'mores were ready for roasting. We were set to enjoy the 2nd annual We Can Conquer the Long Winter Festival on our families three acres. I was so eager.

The one stipulation I required was that everyone's chores had to be done by 3 pm. No exceptions. In our home, chores are a significant part of the work, training and educational component of our children's lives. With the furnace finally working after being on the fritz for two weeks we were enjoying consistent warmth throughout our little home. 

As a humorous challenge, in the early afternoon the plumbing system seized and we had yet another unusual challenge to face. Daughter faced it with her usual tenacity while a son rose to the occasion to trouble shoot and communicate the trouble to those who could help after he did all he could (which was significant). Three of the other sons were dutiful to work on their chores with good attitudes and it looked like we were all set.

HOWEVER.

We win or loose together.

The son who hates the job of dishes (and who can blame him, really?) found numerous reasons NOT to get his work done. 

I've been there. Done that. You? 

With my life often affected by dire things I couldn't get a handle on, I often could not keep thoughts in my head long enough to keep children accountable for their choices and actions/inaction (long, sordid story!). Yesterday was different and I stood my ground.

The result? NO CAMPFIRE. 

There were tears and shouts of protest from the two five year olds who were devastated with anger and disappointment. The older three who had kept up with their chores kept their thoughts and feelings mostly to themselves as I suppose they might have been remembering times and events when they were the cause of similar disappointments due to the inevitable human "I don't want to" attitude.

This morning (and this is really the reason I'm writing this for you) that son came to me with dish towel and wet plate in hands, set his head upon my shoulder and told me how bad he feels that everyone lost out on the campfire because of him.

Short moral to the story? 

Mazur family for the win!

As I have pondered raising boys vs raising men, I am moved with respect by the processes of letting people reap what they sow...and how that work in and of itself is primarily able to cause boys to be men. Not cruelty, unkindness or tough rules....just letting God's ways work as He intended them. Sometimes I think clearing away the mental clutter in order to simply let God's ways work their Wonder is some of the most challenging stuff a family and culture can face. 

Has God left us alone without help as we rear our families and affect our culture? Nope. His truths and treasures and ways are clear to know and do with His leadership unique for each family and situation and culture.

And now, thanks to Him, I have a son who is going from boy to little man, who is shifting from being one who loves to do what he wants to whenever he feels like it to a little man who understands that what he does (and doesn't do) affects the people he loves. 

And he came to me for solace at his actions! What an honor! What trust I have earned in this strong one! 

I'm sure something in the frontal part of his brain is now stronger, as is my respect for him and possibly his for others.

And me? After a really long season stuck in doors I am celebrating that even in the midst of cold and dark seasons in life, love always wins and new things bloom and blossom eventually.

The hero honestly in all of this? Of course it is my hubby, who will remain nameless because he's always so needing time alone to recharge his enormous inner batteries after working so fearlessly to train these five men while at the same time being kind and loving to the two women who reside and live along side him. Not an easy task, I assure you, for oodles of reasons.

To all of you who are pouring into children, and especially the male ones, I send my great big blessings to you as you allow their masculinity to thrive while also helping steer things so they can become protectors and helpers. May they be sensitive to and tend well to their own needs as well as those of others, asking for help unashamedly whenever they need it. May you help them learn to choose what's right when they really do not want to. It's no easy task. And may you mom's and dad's be refresh and renewed as you do the most important work on earth: tending to the needs of your own families!

Focusing on Strengths in Marriage- An Audio Blog Entry

Hi Everybody!!!!



I don't have time to write out a post today for you all so here it is in audio format!  It's in two parts.  The first podcast (in orange) is  about 8 minutes long.  Click the triangle button below to listen.

Download this episode (right click and save)




Next is part two!  The length of the second audio blurb is just under 20 minutes.

Download this episode (right click and save)




See a sample of strengths below.  It's a glimpse of my top five. :)

Are you interested in taking the test for yourself?   You can get an access code to take the test and get your top five strengths when you buy the audio book below.

Click below to hear a sample of the audio book below now.

Take the Strength Finder Test here!!!





These two men together have really helped me understand the book (above) and why it's important.  The video below helped me a lot.  Watch by clicking on the video box below.

I looked at a lot of videos yesterday.  I'm hoping this is the one I watched.  My hubby is an achiever and I never saw it until yesterday...Jimmy's stories are SO helpful for me to see what's been going on and how to go forward.  Click the box below to see another great video.

Other books I really liked for marriage help:



Click below to read about this book which we both REALLY got a lot out of:




Click below to hear an audio sample of this book which was SO helpful for me!




I'm eager to hear about your strengths, too!  Please feel free to comment and share below!

Feelings In The Next Generation

Inspired by the Coursey's videos showing them attuning to, connecting with and empowering their children to feel their own feelings, I continue to work with my own self (and places within that needed to be seen and felt and comforted and empowered) and my children, I confess it's been so wild around here!

Recently as our daughter becomes a young lady and learns how to feel (and not bury, hide from or distract from) her very God-given emotions, I experienced such a tumult while walking along side her.

In this podcast, you'll hear my raw experience as I work with her as she begins to feel her own feelings, too.  I think she's beginning to feel proper soul shame for the first time (the cure for narcissism) as well as hopeless despair.

While I throw a lot of info out there, I admit there's a whole lot I failed to mention like my own fears, hopeless despair (etc) being aroused as I went through the process with her.

I hope you enjoy this 13:07 minute audio clip.  Blessings!

Enjoy this free episode  Length: 13:07

Links mentioned:

Unencumbered Life Coaching with Mic (Michelle)

How does this land for you?  I'd love to hear from you!  Please share in the comments below part of your journey!!!!

Teamwork: How To????

I am always searching for principles ...even while I follow my inner nudges to peek around on Facebook!!!

To back up, the other day I felt nudged to look at some books in order to help me understand new ideas for ways I can sow into my marriage.  I found this in audible and listened to the sample clip and was eager to learn more.

Click the image below to listen to a free audio sample of Jimmy Evan's book (he's got great stuff on marriage!!!  Check out a variety of his books here!)

I told hubby (using my new wonderful empowered wife skills) that I would LOVE to know his opinion...and before I knew it he does what he does and off we went into a new adventure learning about our strengths.

Click below to hear a free audio sample.  If you buy the audio book you receive an email with a code to access the test to find out your top five! 

In addition to all this, I'm so thankful for the dialogue today with a person who invested his life in helping others grow to be better people.  He works with children in a camp setting in South Africa and I have admired his choice to pour into those kids as well as bless his family.  He shared with me some tips about leadership which I will ponder more later.  I wanted to record them here for you in case it helps you, too.  He gave me permission to share.  

Here's his initial comment:

The challenge of explaining teamwork to groups on camp.... ( I have this same conversation on almost a daily basis)

Me " What do you think you could learn from the activity you have just completed?"

Group: "Teamwork!"

Me :" Teamwork is a very broad subject. What aspect of teamwork do you think you needed to do the activity properly?"

Group " Working together"

Me." Yes, that is team work but what specific things did you do to enable you to work together better?"

Group "Teamwork!"

And that's how the cycle of conversation goes until I start mentioning the specifics.....
😳🤔🤣

It's clear many are taught to just give clinical answers and not taught understanding   ]

I admitted I was clueless too and asked for his help.  He was honest and said he struggled too...then he came up with these gems:

"The keys for me are :
1) We need each other. No one can do it on their own.
2) We are all valuable and need to be treated as such 
3) We all have our weaknesses. Protect the weak because one day it will be your turn to be weak.
4) Trust and proper communication are vital.
5) Serve and build others up rather than dictate.

And from a Christian perspective - Love, mercy and forgiveness go a long way

 And let each person lead from their unique skills or abilities.

I often use a five finger contract.
I hold my open hand up and ask the kids what does each finger represent to them and then explain it like this :

The thumb (thumbs up) represents encouragement ( well done, you can do it, you're amazing. Etc)
The index finger is used for pointing. It represents judgement. I'm judging others when I point my finger. ( I'm right, you're wrong. Or pointing out the faults of others to make them look bad and me better) Don't judge others. Judge yourself (plank in your own eye).
The middle finger.... That's rude. Watch how we speak to each other. Control our tongue. Use it to bless not curse.
The ring finger - it represents marriage and commitment. It's a decision not to quit. To persevere and always give my best for the sake of others and myself.
Lastly the little finger - it represents the weak things in our lives. If we cut it off our hand is weaker with it missing and looks funny. We are all weak at certain things and strong at others. My strength is someone's weakness and vice versa. If we protect the weak and treat them as the most important it contributes to the team not weakens it.

Then I make a fist and say - when all my fingers work together their combined strength makes power. By themselves each finger can be broken. As a fist it's very difficult to break.
Work together and your are a fist.

Lastly I get them to agree to a ' contract' of how they will treat each other based on each finger. Start simple and build on it.
When things fall apart then I say to the people concerned - remember your agreement? Stop being a middle finger or I raise my the appropriate finger ( other than the middle one 🤣) and cough to get their attention.

They get it quickly enough"

Thanks, AC!

What is your experience with teamwork and such things?  Marriage, family life, business, ministry...how does teamwork look in your world?  What are you doing to build your strengths???  Please comment below!  We'd love to hear from you!

Be blessed!

~Kate

Michigan USA

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