Do you know how to help yourself when you're REALLY mad? Do you know how to feel mad or do you shove it, etc? I didn't know how to feel it or much of anything and the reason why is too long a story for today.
Did you try to speak out and no one listened? Or were you shamed for expressing your feelings and taught they were best felt in solitude? It's time for some light on that!!
You can now listen to YOURSELF...You can be the parent to yourself that you needed then. Too, the good news is God can parent you while you parent yourself. He can also parent you when you're out of ideas!!!
Did you have help learning how to feel mad (etc) and stay in relational mode? Yeah, right. Me either.
If you didn't, some of the videos below show examples of what nurturing looks like. It's mind boggling for those of us who for whatever reason come from family units where emotions were NOT handled well.
The videos cover several emotions a child experiences.
So whether you're new to the idea of giving dignity to your emotions (or someone elses), caring for children who have feelings, or dealing with yourself or others who feel stuff, I recommend watching all of these short videos!!
In order to to feel with God we need to know:
1) that what we're feeling is OKAY always
2) that He designed feelings as part of our human experience and therefore HE gives us dignity and permission to FEEL them
3) We don't know what it's called (the feeling) unless someone who knows tells us. God can attune to us by the Holy Spirit and teach us the names of our own feelings. He knows what we're feeling and to feel is to heal!!!
(Personal note: I think these videos helped me massively understand and imagine so I can picture how I needed to be treated, how I can let God attune to and help me so I can receive His comfort rather than fight or resist it. It also massively helped me see how I can treat the parts within me or others that are still waiting for someone to name them and what they're feeling and validate that they have the right to feel what they've been feeling for me all my life since I wasn''t able to feel my own stuff then because it was too much without helpers...)
Note: the concept of attuning is SO important....and is an aspect of what the Coursey's do so well in the videos below. To learn more about what attuning is and why it's SO vital, you can visit HERE for some short video explanations.
First, watch as Daddy Chris Coursey helps do the work of attuning when child is ANGRY:
Here child is afraid...very afraid...well done Mom and Dad!
Here, Mommy Jen Coursey helps little man as he deals with being really frustrated.
New experiences can be overwhelming. Having help from someone who's paying attention, watching and listening while also having words for us is WONDERFUL.
Since so many of our parents did NOT have this stuff done for them, they had NO idea how to do it with us. So...we often were neglected or abused when we needed THIS sort of help.
The good news? God wired our brains to feel our big right brained emotions and get back to shalom/peace within ninety seconds by the time we're four years old. If a child can learn it with trial and error, time and help, SO CAN WE. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Please note: according to Dr Jim Wilder we need to be at a certain level of maturity in order to do this. He says if we are at level one, we need other needs met first.
Where is your maturity? Peek here to learn more about that.
If you're at a certain level, in my experience with myself, my six children ages 5-15 and others who are adults of all ages, you can work with yourself and your parts and be gentle with them. Dr Wilder's PAIN lab explains the timing and the math behind any addiction and what's going on. I appreciate his wrist watch info and have tested it out to be very true.
(Sexual) Addiction Part 5: Pain Lab
Remember there's also another component to keep in mind...getting a handle on this aspect of our life in Christ is a HUGE component in this process, too and can be hindering the processes quite severely:
How To Be Delivered: Derek Prince
If you'd like life coaching, please visit here for a listing of helpers available.
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