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As I'm going along dealing FINALLY with all sorts of stuff I could not get to before, I am needing to take a bit of a break from sharing with you. I have some posts in draft form and simply do not have the strength, energy or will to get the editing finished even though it would take me a bit longer than it will to write this whole thing for you!
To give you some context, when I was about 12 years old I hugged my Grandma goodby one fine day and she gave me a smooch. She had a cold sore on her lip and since then I've had them erupt on and off. They are NEVER fun.
I've been SO happy not to have had any in a long time.
Last weekend I was very ill with an out-of-nowhere migraine headache which when exposed to any daylight caused vomiting. I felt terrible all that day...and though the next day I was better, a small bump developed on my lip the following week.
I didn't pay much attention to it AT ALL..and in fact forgot to do the usual things to help the ity bity flare-up cease and desist. Instead what happened was it began to ooze and ooze and burn and ooze and SPREAD (so gross AND contagious!!!)...and now I have a huge burning patch of I-dunno-what under my bottom lip all the way to my chin. It's as though the oozing continues and scabs and then each time I talk or eat it opens some of the healing places. 😳
Well, lemme tell you there's a lot of deliverance and inner healing going on...all in areas far beyond my reach until now and I'm reminded of the principle that my body has kept score. In other words, it's letting to of a life time of JUNK. That's really good news!!!!
However...
..tonight I finally had the courage to look at it under a magnified mirror and was saddened to see what's happening. While it IS getting better it is still very much in need of help. So...I have cleaned it throughly, dabbed with hydrogen peroxide, let it dry and then sprayed it with peppermint oil. Once that dried a bit I gobbed on lots of vitamin E creme.
It looks so horrible that I couldn't bare to let my hubby and kids see it for fear of worrying or disgusting them (plus I think keeping it from air, etc is a wise move), so I covered it with cotton pads and stuck them down gently with bandages. While this might seem like no big deal, I know I need to not talk and not eat tonight in order to give it all a huge chance to heal. My flapping jaw isn't good for that new skin growth making it's way underneath all that nastiness.
I am very grateful the past two nights I've been able to sleep pretty well. For two nights before that it was oozing so badly I couldn't rest as I had to keep dabbing the nasty stuff!! 😰
I don't normally talk about such gross stuff...and the only reason I'm telling you now is because it HURTS and I'm trying not to cry. My nerves feel super raw and I need comfort...and so I will plop myself down on the deck where the flowers and fruits, veggies and herbs grow and the birds flutter around doing their lovely things and I will read the great book I'm in the middle of. I might sneak down some sort of liquid protein through a straw in order to give in and take some over-the-counter pain meds. I hate to take anything like that unless I have to...yet I know this stress I'm feeling from the pain is apt to cause my body to react even more. 😷
Oh, and I'll work through PM's 3 steps to emotional healing too, because all this healing is sometimes....well, PAINFUL. Worth it, of course, yet 😢
Once I have my strength back, I'll get working on some posts for ya. I have a lot of things to share which have come to light!!
