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As I face what IS and what HAS been in order to decide what I want FROM NOW ON to look like, I am grateful for glimmers of light, helping hands and healing words along the way. The journey in G*d and with Him is one entire aspect of reality...and the walk with others and myself another.
Learning I am an exhorter type of person really helps me frame things so I understand better. It helps me accept how G*d made me one of the seven templates for humanity. Lots of words, big ideas, exuberance for His life all around is part of the makeup of what's okay about me.
For people who've been reared by someone with cluster B personality disorders (including narcissism) there are some really dismal realities they face. Taking the bull by the horns as my mother would say and dealing with it all takes no small amount of courage. While I am aware of many things I lack, courage isn't usually one of them.
Learning of my energy type has been an interesting study as well.
Allow me to back up.
When the mother in your life believes the worst about you, cannot encourage, support or love you in a way you need and verbally assaults you more often than not, there's a need for finding out what's true and good and right about yourself. Too, the nasty things spoken need to be neutralized and then good things added. In other words, when the person God gave you to be the nurturer instead sows thorns and thistles into your life, it DOES things to a person. It takes time and commitment to Truth and a willingness to be stripped bare in order for new life to be sown. Then it takes time for those good seeds to germinate and bring forth good things. How I am grateful for the Gentle Gardner!
Others who have been healed from a childhood of assaults by a parent have my full respect and attention. I have appreciated receiving truth and life from those who've faced the abuse and all the scary and upsetting things which go along with not being safe in the home of your youth. I'll share more about that some other time.
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