Me (while reaching out toward Samuel who'd been working a while on getting his two shirt buttons to cooperate):
"I see you struggling with the top button on your shirt. I have trouble sometimes with my buttons, too. Want me to help? I'd like to."
Samuel (continuing to focus intently on his work): "I wemembered you said big boiys can do hawd sings."
He's four.
I'm forty three.
I grasped him and cried on his neck a little...all while he kept working til he got it.
What a mystery and wonder it is to follow the Holy Spirit on this journey of motherhood when I feel like an abyss of nothing so much of the time. A.Ma.Zing.
Feeling emotionally far away from our husbands is
face it...NOT fun.
It can be demoralizing, especially as Christian women, to know we're the helpmeet and yet feel so far away from doing whatever it is we need to.
Respect our husbands....submit
ourselves to them...okay great. But HOW?
In reality, there are a whole lot of us who didn't
see that modeled growing up. No offense to anyone who came before
us; if they didn't have the information (having it modeled to them)
then it makes sense they didn't have it to show us.
A lot of our moms were BUSY and
emotionally not able to build into their marriages. Lots of our
dads and granddads were taken out of the family...either by divorce,
death or ideas that they weren't emotionally needed.
Or maybe feminisims' fingers crept into
the family line, strangling until God's intended life is all
but squeezed out.
The whole art of respecting men has
been sort of lost in our culture. I understand the concept of
respect being earned...but giving it is really important as a way of
extending basic human dignity. I think a man deservers respect
because He is made in God's image and God deserves our respect. The God part of every man needs respect.
The reality of the frailty of mankind
is worth noting at this point. Not every man or woman has walked as
God intended. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. Many of
us have the marriages to prove it.
How can we, God's women, grafted into
the family of God by the blood of our Lord Jesus, honor Him as wives
to imperfect men?
It's a challenge I put before you
today...because I think our culture is completely desperate, and
depends on our men being the Life Givers God created them to be.
Take a look at this video to see what I
mean.
Women are altruistic. At least more so
than men. They will do for others. Men? Not so much. They are born
different, set on taking care of number one. They have to be taught,
through extraordinary and extreme measures, HOW to care for someone
other than themselves. Being a life giver as a male is something
that must be learned. A good upbringing allows these skills to be developed through appropriate, useful hardship.
Women need men to help care for the
life they carry. The man's sperm is what carries life into our
potential...and we need their help to care for the life we love to
bring into the world. We steward the life and we need their help to do it. I am convinced life
originates with the very masculinity of men.
Often we are turned off because we
experienced (or someone in our generations passed down the
burden/memory/pain/abuse/fear etc) the damage when a man is not life giving. Those
moments are memorable and unfortunately can cause a rupture in the
trust we are created to have. Hopeful daughters is the hope of society.
I know there's a lot wrong going on out there and in our families and homes, churches and businesses.
Let's
be honest ladies. There is also a lot wrong going on within us.
We sometimes don't know how to feel; we
have a hard time trusting. We blame and accuse and do the opposite
of respect.
We aren't always worthy of being cherished yet we long for it and sometimes demand it.
Let's be real here.
It's time to resuscitate God's ways for
marriage...and it' possible even within this ungodly culture.
Part of what I've been working on, as some of you know, is trying to figure out how to get audio up and running. I figured it would work, but to no avail.
Wednesday, Michelle and I recorded our first ever video...and I spent all that evening and the entire next day editing it and getting it ready to share. I am VERY excited...and hope you will like it. It's really for a very specific audience. It is the 3 part introduction to the series on narcissism.
Turns out writing a book isn't as easy as nattering away on camera. Who knew??? I certainly did not.
I have finished uploading it to my newly built EFL youtube channel and eagerly await it's emergence into cyberspace. Once I get the inner nudge to release it publicly, I will share it.
I will celebrate tonight, in some quiet way.
This is all so new and exciting....my first ever Exuberant for Life Productions Presentation!!!
After some physical, mental and emotional struggles last week, I felt nudged to begin asking God for an overhaul in my inner world. My mind needs major renewing in order to accept who I really am...and in order to walk out what God has next for me.
I have spent such a long time pinched in by circumstances I could NOT control, learning how to live life leveraging everything I could get my hands on so to speak. What I've been doing/thinking has been fine...but I can tell I really need to position myself to think completely different than I have been about me, my future, possibilities, using my gifts and talents, etc.
I wondered what it would look like if I ever got to this point. I'm not sure yet because I cannot yet feel/see/sense it, but have a very clear idea that I need God to give me vision and purpose for the next season of my life. I am pretty sure He's given me the "good and faithful servant - well done!" sticker on the season I am nearly done with.
It's exciting. At the same time I feel pretty worn out. I am blessed to be able to spend some time soon just pampering myself- away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I really NEED a break and God has rigged it so I can take one. I have a hunch He will be nudging me more often.
I have the idea this break will be to rest and re-callibrate...to let Him pour into me a new vision, understanding and perspective of where I am and where I'm headed. I have some lofty ideas which will need to be wrestled back into their proper places...
I need a time of surrendering again everything I am and have to Him. I feel like nearly two decades of excruciating labor are over...and I don't really have any idea what's next but I know it's going to be very different in possibly every way (I wasn't going to add "possibly" but then my fingers snuck it in at the request of my tempted-to-limit-myself brain.)
Anyway, I figured I'm not only one who could use some comprehensive good news. I nearly called this website Compressive Connections rather than Exuberant for Life. Soo...Dr. Caroline's Leaf good news today really started to water my dry places this morning as I dozed in a later than usual.
I really hope you enjoy this...it's phenomenal on so many levels. I am honored to be co-heirs with you and her. Christ's inheritance is ours and I am coming into agreement with everything that means for me. Period.
Blessings as you walk out wherever you are on your life's journey.
For those of you who are my precious coaching clients, I have finally taken a moment to update that pesky paypal button which was not working for email subscriptions.
If you want to have your coaching subscription billed automatically, you can now sign up here. I hope it works! You can still chose the same increments.
In case you're looking for an audio file, we have true news.
There aren't any available yet. Today I cancelled our sound cloud and podomatic accounts, erasing all the audio.
My goal is to re record the Narcissism series using higher quality equipment for sound and editing as well as host it completely on our own here on EFL. Much progress is being made behind the scenes a little most every day.
I appreciate your patience as I work through the details for getting the best quality materials to you.
As for the book on narcissism, the rough draft is now in the laptop! This is a major event. So far there are 19 chapters and I am working through adding material here and there as I am able.
My idea for now is to record the audio series based on the structures within the book so there will be more congruency between the two.
I think this will be a way I can offer you more product (words) for less cost and time over the long haul.
Thanks to a donor, we were able to locate and upload this audio clip today which was recorded January 18, 2017. This 18+ minute clip details several components of our EFL vision, where we are with the Narcissism book/podcasts, specifics of how you can help and a bit about our story. It's a good place to jump in if you're wanting to get a feel for Exuberant for Life and what we're about.
There were so many things I needed and did NOT need when pregnant and as my babies grew. Here I share links to a few companies (and products) I think you might like during those stages of life.
"Our human spirit is responsive. When it is ignored, it will atrophy. When it is nurtured it will grow.
Truth is the nutrient that most powerfully transforms your spirit. Your spirit needs to know the truth about you and about God. Some of that truth is spoken by the Spirit of God to your spirit and some is input that you deliberately seek.
This book is a series of blessings designed to leverage the growth of your spirit. It begins with a fathering theme. For 40 days, legitimacy and identity are explored from the Father's perspective. Then after we have seen ourselves from God's perspective, He invites us to see Him. There are 21 more days of blessings flowing from the names of God.
Finally at the end of the book there is a list of verses that describe the range of activities and emotions of the human spirit. These are designed to help you develop a working theology of your own spirit.
This tool can significantly improve your marriage and your relationship with your children. The most exciting transformation through is when you become much more at peace with yourself and when you discover facets of your own nature that you did not know were there."
Kate says: I received this book as a gift from the author. Honestly, I need to buy two cases because I am always loaning it out. I think I have bought several individual copies and cannot keep them on my own personal shelf. EXCEPTIONAL book for nurturing our inner man. Everyone who reads it says it completely waters very dry places. You can read more as I blabber on about how much I appreciate the whole issue of the inner man here. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!
"Instead of preaching what mothers ought to do, psychotherapist Naomi Stadlen explains what mothers already do in the course of any exhausting day's work. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day?
Stadlen's wise reflections, threaded throughout with the voices of real mothers, explore unsentimental reactions to motherhood-resentment, guilt, splintered identity, crippling inefficiency, and deadening fatigue. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom."
Kate says: Of all the books I have read about being a Mother, this one stands out above the rest. Lots of books are great to understand how to help a growing child, but none is better than this to explain the unique work of a mother TUNING IN to her baby. It is extraordinary and I highly recommend it for anyone who's not sure what the job of a Mum is.
Designed for ages 3-5, and using age-appropriate language and illustrations, this book explains to young children the marvelous body God gave them.
"An award winning author steps into troubled waters writing books for children instructing them how to respond if a sexual predator makes an advance. The predator can be another child, a family friend, an older sibling, a sports coach, a church leader, or another relative. Yell and Tell is the first in the series of books addressing the subject of children dealing with sexual predators in a mature way.
Yell and Tell is written in a musical rhyme and rhythm that children love. They will also be more inclined to remember what they read by this type of writing. It is told in a simple story telling manner introducing a delightful young boy named Samuel to lead the way.
Children as young as four years old through pre-teens will find the story captivating, as well as instructional. Four times, young Samuel is discreetly challenged by his mother to consider how he should respond if he were faced with situations concerning sexual advances. Each time Samuel thinks his way through and responds by assuring his mother he will always yell and tell.
Giving a child this simple knowledge is arming them with wisdom to always yell and always tell. This is a priceless tool for parents as they seek to protect their children from those who seek them harm. "
"Might you and your baby both sleep better if you shared a bed? How old is too old for breastfeeding? What is a father's role in nurturing a newborn? How does early attachment foster a child's eventual independence? Dr. Bill and Martha Sears -- the doctor-and-nurse, husband-and-wife team who coined the term "attachment parenting" -- answer these and many more questions in this practical, inspiring guide. Attachment parenting is a style of parenting that encourages a strong early attachment, and advocates parental responsiveness to babies' dependency needs. "The Attachment Parenting Book" clearly explains the six "Baby B's" that form the basis of this increasingly popular parenting style: Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bedding close to baby, Belief in the language value of baby's cry, Beware of baby trainers.Here's all the information you need to achieve your most important goals as a new parent: to know your child, to help your child feel right, and to enjoy parenting."
"Studies in the 1950s revealed that young children hospitalized without their parents respond first by crying for them, then by showing signs of despair, and finally by emotionally detaching from the parents and acting indifferent to their absence. This detachment is hard to repair and highly detrimental to a child's development-most children who feel they cannot rely on their parents grow up to become more emotionally insecure and less self-assured than their peers.
The Attachment Connection sorts out the facts from the fiction about parent-child attachment and shows how paying attention to the emotional needs of your child, particularly during the first five years of development, can help him or her grow up happy, secure, and confident. You'll discover how your child's brain is developing at each stage of growth and learn to use reasonable, easy-to-implement guidelines based on sound science to foster secure attachment, healthy social skills, and emotional regulation in your child."
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I am passionate about God, my country, my family. I've said enough elsewhere. This artist captures well what is at stake in this 2016 Presidential election.
I bind the enemy and ask (the God of Abraham) to shine His light in and around
the media,
Dr. Ben Carson,
the Federal Reserve,
all federal agencies,
the Obama Administration,
the DNC,
the RNC,
FBI,
lobbyists,
lawmakers,
polititicans on federal, state and local levels,
Senate,
House of Representatives,
Congress,
Law Enforcement,
DOJ*,
The Clinton Foundation,
Bill and Hillary Clinton and everyone associated with them,
George Soros,
the UN,
Donald Trump and everyone associated with him
Voting locations, land, staff, ballots, machines, etc*
on whatever He wants to shine it on for as long as He wants until He's done.
I took this straight from theslg.com, prayed it over myself starting about six years ago and have been praying it near daily for those in my circles since.
*Save and protect from evil those mentioned above who fear Him.
*Terrify those above who defy Him.
*just added this recently
"First of all, then, I urge that petitions (specific requests),
prayers, intercessions (prayers for others) and thanksgivings be offered
on behalf of all people, for kings and all who are in [positions of]
high authority, so that we may live a peaceful and quiet life in all
godliness and dignity."
1 Timothy 2:1-2AMP
Part of CONTENTMENT for me has been learning how to tune OUT the hustle and bustle of society and tune IN to simple, wholesome things....like giving thanksand enjoying old time things.
While I still enjoy many modern amenities and am grateful to be alive during a time when there's so much benefit from the industrial and technological revolutions, I prefer to keep walking more and more toward a more old fashioned way of living in some areas of my life.
Food is one of the main ways I have started a new path. I confess I find it incredibly rewarding to learn new things. Shifting from a certain way of eating to another has been one of the greatest challenges I've ever faced (and that's saying something). I'll write more about our food journey later.
This Thanksgiving, we'll be enjoying oodles of an old fashioned fermented drink called KOMBUCHA. I'm crazy about cultured foods. Ferments is what we call them in our home. Recently, I brewed 6 gallons to be ready for our four-day holiday for the end of next month. With eight of us we'll drink every drop. We're getting so excited for the time to be together!!!!
Kombucha is very inexpensive to makeand the health benefits are reportedly fantastic. Frankly, the taste is terrifically yummy even though it smells a bit like vinegar. You can google and find all sorts of methods, techniques, tools, tips and ingredients. We think it tastes very much better than soda pop.
Since we're obsessed with simple and practical in order to keep the line of contentment-and-thanks in the right place (and since we have a huge family full of youngsters), our favorite video for making Kombucha is from a gal named Emmy.
Below is her simple, fantastic youtube post. She gives a bit of background and then goes over the ingredients and steps. Take a look!
Below, I've included what you need if you'd like to try making your own. I assume you have sugar on hand, so I've included a few items we needed to gather which were not in our cupboards when we first started making our own Kombucha. Once you're ready, you can have delicious Kombucha ready for
any special occasion or for everyday use.
It takes 7-14 days depending on the temperature.
You've still got time to brew some to be ready for your
Thanksgiving celebrations in a few weeks! I recommending watching Emmy's video (above) all the way through in order to accurately assess what to do next.
What we did:
We started with GT's (at Emmy's suggestion) and bought it from our local health food store.
Some areas don't carry these items locally, though as Kombucha gets more popular it will likely become easier to find. The main ingredient is called a S.C.O.B.Y which stands for symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast. It's something you'll need to buy online or find a friend who will give you one! It's slimy and looks weird but does the job. You'll still need some Kombucha liquid if you use Kimmy's method.
TEA:
Here's a fast and easy way to get a SCOBY if you don't have a friend nearby who's brewing. Anyone who brews has more than enough and is probably happy to share! If you can't find anyone who will share, you have a few options. First, you can but the SCOBY ready to go.
Or, if you'd rather get a kit, you might like this which contains everything you need to get started.
Or if you like Emmy's idea like we did, start with a few bottles of GT's, which we found in our local health food store. Amazon will ship you a case of twelve 16 oz bottles if you can't find it in your local area:
Next, you'll need tea. I prefer organic. From what we've researched and tried, black tea is THE best; but green works, too. I've tried Oolong, Rooibos, Ginger, Earl Grey and English breakfast. All are yummy. Your SCOBY will be altered if you use a flavored tea, so keep that in mind. You can brew a second time adding flavor, or use Emmy's method of adding the flavor into the bottles once you've finished your 7-14 day brew.
Organic sugar is another important component. The yeast in the SCOBY eats it and transforms it into a wonderful elixir of yumminess which is oh-so good for you. Organic sugar is pretty readily available these days in most grocery stores. Here is some in case you'd like it delivered right to your door. There are also many other brands and quantities you can select.
STORAGE:
These jars with lids are my favorite for brewing the tea and holding the SCOBY's for the next batches. It's important to use non reactive containers. I think they look great in the kitchen, too. Over the years at times we have ours completely full of SCOBY's and our guys call it the SCOBY Hotel. Each time you brew a batch you get a second SCOBY, which is sometimes called a baby. You can remove it from the original (often referred to as the Mother) and give it away or begin additional batches.
This is a GREAT way to store your finished product in the fridge after it's brewed. It keeps it chilled and the spigot makes it so even our children can easily serve themselves. I especially like the glass container made in the U.S.A. and the large size works great for our huge family. Remember, it's best to use non reactive containers for fermented/cultured foods.
For smaller quantities, you might like this:
Or this:
Enjoy your Kombucha! May your brewing going well and your time with special people be blessed.
~Kate
2014
UPDATE:
As far as we understand, KOMBUCHA is THM approved.
Here are some additional steps to make large family batches. We hope you enjoy! by Kate & Luke Mazur November 2, 2016
TWELVE STEPS TO MAKING ONE GALLON OF KOMBUCH TEA
Luke
recommends reading this through all the way before you start. We use
Emmy's concept and have adapted it to work for our big family.
1)
Sterilize a one gallon jar. We use old GFS green olive jars, which
work great to make large batches for our big, thirsty family.
2) Fill the jar 1/4 of the way with boiled water. We have our own well and can use our own water to our hearts' content. It is NOT advised to use treated water as it will ruin your SCOBY. We suggest using filtered water if your tap water is treated.
3) To the hot water, add 6-8 tea bags.
For a lighter Kombucha, we use Green tea, etc.
For a darker tea, we use black, Oolong, etc.
4) Steep for 5 minutes and then remove tea bags using non reactive utensil. Discard tea bags.
5) Add 1 cup of sugar while the water is still hot. Swirl water in jar carefully just long enough to dissolve sugar.
6) Add cold water making sure to leave enough room to add the SCOBY and 1 cup of brewed kombucha (previous batch)
It's
important the SCOBY not get too hot or too cold. Remember, it's a
harmonious colony of bacteria and yeast and therefore temperature is
important. Don't add ice until it's has finished brewing and the SCOBY
is out!
Also if you want to flavor your tea make sure too wait until it has finished brewing and you have removed the SCOBY, or else it will become a favored SCOBY
7) Add SCOBY and 1 cup of Kombucha from previous batch.
If this is your first batch, pour the GT's right in. A SCOBY will form on its own from the culture which lives within GT's.
8)
Cover the jar with cheese cloth or a coffee filter and secure well with
a rubber band. While it needs to breath because it's a living
organism, it's important not to allow any gaps.
Warning:
Fruit flies LOVE to find their way in, lay their eggs and hatch a
little family on the SCOBY. This makes for undrinkable tea. They can
really be a problem. We have mourned many a batch because of them.
9)
Place the jar in a good spot. We put our jars on top of our fridge and
allow them to sit at room temperate for 7 -14 days.
We like waiting two weeks because then the flavor is DELICIOUS.
If it goes too long it sours and then we like to use it for vinegar.
10)
After 7-14 days at room temperature, your Kombucha Tea is ready.
Remove the SCOBY and 1 cup of liquid and place in a separate glass jar
until you're ready to brew your next batch. We keep ours on the fridge
in what we affectionately call our SCOBY Motel. As you continue to
brew, your SCOBY's will multiply. Separate the layers and use one layer
per batch. They reproduce quickly! Some like to share their extra SCOBY's with friends.
11)
Store tea. We can hardly get enough made to put in cold storage, but
it is a good idea to put the Kombucha tea, once brewed and SCOBY is
removed, into the fridge or other cold place. This keeps the flavor
just as it was and it gets better and better as it stays chilled.
You
can pour it into small bottles if you like. We often pour it into
empty, used milk jugs because we drink it so very fast. Purists will
say only use glass and we agree but we gulp it down faster than Luke can
make it.
12) Taste and enjoy!
For one half gallon follow the same method but cut the ingredients in half.
If you have any questions, feel free to shoot an email to Luke at exuberantforlife@gmail.com
Please come back and let us know in the comments below how yours turned out.
~Kate and Luke
Your donation is SO appreciated! It helps me keep the tea coming
while I take breaks from house and home, children and hubby in order to
write for you! While your donation will completely make my day, it's not tax deductible.
{This post contains affiliate links and is dedicated to men who are committed to fathering.}
An Unfortunate Problem
According
to some, this is the 4th U.S. generation we’ve been reared without fathers and the 1st
without mothers. Obviously, everyone has a mother and father, but those
who know how to nurture & build into their offspring, giving them what they
need while not burdening them while also drawing out what is within takes SKILL. This is usually acquired from experiencing it in the early years.
In another post we’ll cover more historical stuff; for today
it’s enough to say there are a whole lot of us who need to mature and develop
skill to handle well ourselves and those around us.
There
is a lot to learn. Being forty something with a houseful of beautiful children & a hubby I adore doesn’t mean I have a lot figured out.I am so grateful for the myriad of men who are helping
others learn the basics.
A man once challenged us to search the earth for the person who had answer
to our questions.We start with our heavenly Father and then follow His lead.I am so glad there are many men filled with godly
wisdom willing to pour into those not their own. We have been on an intense journey these past years. More about that later....
Feeling What???
How
we handle anger, disgust, shame (the normal, healthy kind), fright,
disappointment, hopeless despair and other right brained feelings (emotions)
depends largely on how those who reared us handled them. Heard of Inside Out? It depicts well aspects of our innards and what happens within as we deal with the stuff of life.
After years of research and experimenting, I am beyond happy to report that by the age of 4 our brains are designed by a loving Father to process these
emotions within 90 seconds!! I have been like a mad scientist, chasing the LORD for answers, reading and listening to oodles of things and testing wildly on our two
three year old's, our older four children, hubby, myself and a few other wonderful guinea pigs. I am elated to confirm that in a safe environment we can learn, at any age, to deal well with emotions!!!
I have a lot more to tell you, so please understand this post doesn't even begin to scratch the surface....
One
of the issues which happens as an adult begins to handle the emotions perhaps
they've pushed away all their lives is a feeling of, "OH NO...this [bad, unfamiliar, debilitating] feeling
is going to over take me and I will not survive it." If I remember right,
this happens for everyone at about the 45 second mark.* Forty five seconds
is not long to feel anything, but when you're a toddler or grown and feeling it for the first time, it feels like forever. Apparently, every single addiction is rooted in lacking the ability to regulate these emotions AND have words to describe them (we get the words from the left side).
In short, someone gentle needs to give us language for our feelings and then POOF! It feels okay to have them. With practice, we begin to live well rather than crashing and burning or trying desperately to avoid emotional calamity.
Fortunately, we have a heavenly Father who leads and helps us
through the entire process, completely delights to give us the
words we need and surrounds us with beautiful, life-giving people who care for us while we grow.
Flourishing in an Orphan Culture
There are many father's who've worked to help fill in the gaps. One of my hero's in this area is Mr. Fred Rogers. His appeal in 1969 to the Senate subcommittee on Communications reveals his gentle father's heart:
His television program has been an incredible blessing to us as we're learning to
handle our emotions as he gives words to so much. In another post I will share specifics of
how we use Mister Rogers' Neighborhood in our home to help develop the
maturity in all eight of us, from ages 3 to 43.
Even his books are filled with grace and dignity. As a parent I have so needed his words for my own feelings! Not just for children, his message "You Are Special," resounds again and again.
Before Fred Rogers's died, he and Dan Seigel were working toward communicating the importance of slow paced, wholesome television for children, though Fred died before they commenced. In this TED Talk, Dan Siegel gives an explanation for what's going on within us when we're trying to figure out what to do about things we feel.
Many of Dan Siegel's books have given our family words which have completely changed how we deal with our own stuff and which has equipped us to more easily handle helping each other as we all deal. I cannot recommend enough these books for those of you who are longing to get a clue about integrating and handling life better. We enjoy the audible versions.
*There's so much more to tell and I can hardly wait. Please stay tuned for Emotional Resilience Part 2 and beyond ~coming soon (I hope).
:)
~Kate
Your donation is SO appreciated! It helps me keep the hot tea coming
while I take breaks from house and home, children and hubby in order to
write for you! While your donation will completely make my day, it's not tax deductible.
"
