Time Passed

Worship Song #1 for This Session

Hello you!

Following the advice of a mentor, our family embarked on a two year project, which I alluded to in the post just below this one.  

As it winds down and we look forward to serving for another two years, I pause to reflect and look at so many other projects which have my heart's attention.  

Sharing with you here on this blog is one of them.  

A friend recently asked for a print out of this, in order to share it with some new friends.

As I looked through the massive amounts of files on my MacBook, renewed faith, hope and love sparked for working here on EFL.  

I see the wisdom in having cleared some items off my schedule, freeing up time and bandwidth to tend to this place, which often gets forgotten in the day to day living when I feel like less than a conqueror.

Hearing of a friend's recent diagnosis, I'm reminded that learning to feel our feelings literally helps avoid life threatening diseases, which pop up due to our inability to know what to do with these invisible appendage-like realities (aka feelings/emotions).

Whether we believe they are the bane of our existence and shut ourselves off from a source of life within us (which needs to be managed, and tended like a garden), or cling to our excuse to carry on as if they are not there, our feelings MUST be dealt with less we perish.  To those who shame others for learning to feel them, death waits ready to envelope them.  It humbles me to remember that our loving God is the one who sets life and death in front of us each day, whispering (nudging) us to choose life.  Respecting whichever we choose, He has set it up for us to reap from whatever we decide.

According to those who know more than me, every addiction and (almost?) every disease is caused by not attuning to our innards - gut and emotions.  In our western culture, we are taught to ignore these life-lines, and praised for summoning the disconnect which  results from attempting to hack off a very living (and vital) part of us.

As I ponder wellness, wholeness and where our culture stands in terms of emotional maturity, I am reminded that sharing what we've learned about it all might just be THE most important thing we can leave behind as a legacy for future generations.  Significant deeds which we've accomplished will pale in comparison to what can be shared in places like this, which can be passed along in order to point to the One who exists beyond all realms.  

It's to Him that I continue to surrender.

Oh, and along those lines of facing the tumults within, I'm thankful for whomever put Corrie ten Boom's video blurbs onto Youtube shorts.  

In a recent one, which just happened to come across my feed "randomly" the other day as I pondered the deepest betrayal of my life ---which seems SO hard to overcome---  I marveled as Corrie explained that she COULD NOT forgive.  

She explained that only the Holy Spirit within us can empower us to do that.

RIGHT.  

Wow.  

So now I've changed my position.  

Rather than begging for ability to forgive, I recognize He has answered my prayer of late, which has been to teach us how to love our enemies.  

I cannot do any of that, and now I do not feel ashamed or condemned!!  It's not humanly possible.  

Thankfully, I am reporting to you, Dear Reader of this simple blog which sits upon this website in the regions of internet-land, that I have flung it God-ward, confessing that I cannot do it- no matter how much time passes or efforts are given to talk it through, or any other well-intentioned tactics are deployed.  

I have no power in my own Kate-ness to forgive all that needs to be.  

Without the Vine I can do nothing.

I CANNOT.

I CANNOT.

I CANNOT.

How freeing that is.  

WHAT A WEIGHT I have been under, believing I had to do it in my own power and strength, and will and emotion.  

Trying, trying, trying, I have nearly driven myself into a faithless-frenzy.  Whatever is not done in faith is sin, right?  Yikes.  What a mess I've been in, not even seeing it.

Is this the root of why I have not been able to get weight to budge??  It will not surprise me at all if the astonishing stress of trying to forgive with my own woefully inadequate capability is THE cause of what the doctors have not been able to pinpoint.

If you're struggling to forgive, you might like 

1) telling God you can't and won't

2) asking for His power to do it, 

3) asking Him to teach you how to trust Him for the timing and the power and resources and RESULTS.  

What a waste to try and try in our own strength.  What pride is this?

Somehow, this has suddenly made all the difference to me.  It also reminds me how sharing true principles for posterity is a REALLY, really good idea.

With the shifts this good news will inevitably bring, I might be at the point where I can see to do both projects: the one we've renewed for another two years, and continuing to build here at Exuberant for Life.

I like the idea more than I can express.  Taking what has God's life in and adding value to it has become my favorite thing.

As I ponder aspects of being God's kid, my husband's wife and the mom to our kids, I revel that there are SO many principles bursting to be utilized.  I think another word for it is WISDOM, and I feel like that's God's most exquisite gift.

Watering this season's seedings, I recalled hearing Joyce Meyer describe how God would wait to help her until she stopped struggling.  Feeling this lesson becoming my own reality, I see it is as though He is a complete Gentleman...waiting until I ask for help, allowing me to struggle long.  Knowing Romans 5 wisdom mysteries, I suppose there is good that comes from trying to no avail.  What a great burden I have ditched and flung off.  I remain forever indebted to the guy who taught us to discern between productive pain (the Romans 5 kind) and the OTHER kind. 

I cannot forgive HER, or THEM, or him (or her or him, etc).  

I CANNOT and I won't try anymore.

Instead, I cling to the One who is WONDERFUL.  

I don't have to TRY anymore.  

*sigh

(...and she walks off stage, having finished her soliloquy....)

More healing news from this week:

Worship Song #2 for This Session

Know you are adored...not for anything you have done, are doing, or that you will do.  

YOU, dear person, are adored because of WHO YOU ARE.  

Your very essence and being is adored. 

Period.

So there. 

With love and respect,

Kate M

-From the writing studio/seed central/video game hub/living room of the Castle- on a sandy hill within a forest- which is stuffed full of people who eat and clean and do lessons around me while I natter away at you.  :)  

Feel free to say HI by email over at exuberantforlife@gmail.com. You can also find me on facebook, twitter and truth social.  I'd love to hear from you.

p.s.  I've just had prayer time and feel 2nd layer of understanding coming.  In order to get THIS one out to you, I'll post now as is, and then hope to capture the essence of what is coming now.  Thanks for traveling along with me.  You are appreciated.  

Before the Foundations

As Mrs F. and I recounted today the conversation between me and the tall guy, we went deeper into the idea he brought up this past Sunday: that our Constitution is not the foundation on which our great republic was built, but rather it is the BLUEPRINT.  

So liking this concept, and seeing all sorts of significant connections to all sorts of issues we need to face in this generation, she reminded me again of the importance of the book she found on A.B.'s book shelf this past autumn.

"America's Providential History", she explains, details the faith our founding fathers had.  She said studying it will help us as we go forward in order to think through going forward with our Republic.  

She's loaning us her copy tonight.  You can get a copy for yourself, here using our affiliate link.  If you purchase anything through our amazon link, we will earn a small commission while you pay nothing extra.  

If you do decide to read the book, or if you have already, we would love to hear your thoughts. 

Emotional Healing 101 (Made Simple)

In all my years of working on emotional and inner healing, I have sought and come across MANY articles, audio blurbs and videos.  I have read, studied, practiced, prayed, sang, danced, declared, wept...all within the processes of healing and learning about it.  

Having first started with blessing my spirit-man for many years, I now feel this is THE most practical, simple and straightforward message on emotional healing that I have heard so far.  I feel he has a very good grasp of the spiritual, physical and emotional issues as well as the foundational scriptural principles.  

While I do not pretend to know the intricacies, I would like to add a few more principles (truths).

According to Dr. Gabore Mate, almost all disease (etc) is caused by us NOT listening to our gut.  

Pastor and Dr. Jim Wilder says all addiction is caused by the inability to regulate emotions.  

Dr. Caroline Leaf says something like 85% of all sickness is healable and our DNA is the starting point.

Additionally, I have added to the second step of Praying Medic's method.  As well as asking for God to heal the soul wounds the feelings are triggering, I ask Him to heal all the spirit, body, time and land wound associated with that wound.

Praying Medic Emotional Healing

Accepting Things

As I ponder the changes which happen in various seasons of life, I feel like sharing with you a little bit about what is happening on my end.

As you might know, it has been nearly three years since my Mom was arrested and sent for psychiatric evaluation against her will.  The results of that have been significant for me for a myriad of reasons.

Having "proof" that I was reared by a mentally ill, emotionally volatile, impoverished single woman has been enormously helpful.  I guess it feels a bit like vindication, as I have been speaking out about it since I was about five years old (literally!).  

Having been raised in an environment where oodles of my needs did not get met and having been exposed to a whole lot of things which were not helpful (and many which were deeply hurtful), it has taken me all my life to feel like I have my feet underneath me properly.  I have had to learn dozens of skills of caring for self which most people, thankfully, take for granted and learn in their early years.

I was not deceived; I knew things were NOT going as they ought to have.  My sense of God's ways and justice were on high alert, helping me to always know that what I was experiencing was NOT right and not God's intention for me.  Principles were being violated all over the place.  My Mother's diagnoses helped me gain an understanding that I have not been crazy all this time!

The past few years have been a series of processes whereby I have faced reality in oh-so many ways.  While God rigged it for me to study and learn about some of the problems before the facts came to light, the majority of the inner healing has come in the past few months as I have been able to take a deep breath (literally, finally) and enjoy my Maker, my self and the abundant life He continually provides.  

Learning to receive life from Him and understanding what life is -and is not -has been another huge aspect of my maturing process.  

During this time I put everything online on hold.  I pulled away from online groups and people I respect and admire at a time when the whole world seemed to be connecting online more than ever.  

I started getting out more physically while everyone else seemed to be shut in.  

My years of having been sort of a house hermit in order to nurture self and home and kin proved to be beneficial.  Tending to home fires and setting house in order paid off and now I finally feel like I can come here and say something that will be worth saying.

It feels good to be returning with what feels like a completely new inner world.  

If ever you or anyone you care about needs to stop the busyness of life and slow down, I think it really is worth the effort.  Time taken to receive and open those good and perfect gifts will never be regretted.  

Looking forward, I hope to share more of the specifics I have learned in order to give testimony as to how good God is and how fantastically His ways work.  

He- and His principles- still delights me continually, in the midst of having just been through some of the darkest nights of my soul's life.  

More later.  

Thanks for reading.  :)

~Kate 

Exuberant for Life  

Lake Ann

Michigan

USA

August 3, 2021

News from Jerusalem

 Our friend Netanel has given an update on Gaza, what's happening and what is coming.  He shared the audio link with me and I am sharing it with you.  Feel free to take a listen here:  Gaza Today and Where it Is Leading To by Netanel Nickalls.

Update: May 2021

As I continue to get things in order, today I created vision boards for myself.  I think the lie from the original garden morphs it's way into my days very subtly...did God really say enjoy Him, enjoy good food and family and friends and that life is VERY good?  Or did He say everything should be a never-ending struggle in futility?

As I ponder the principle of sowing and reaping (which I think is a direct cousin if not the very same as the law of attraction), I want to reap GREAT things.  I was reminded by Praying Medic's most recent podcast that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

Right. All this sugar and foods which harm and other such things are taking up the place where GOOD THINGS ought to....so I am shifting things in order to put things first.  

Yesterday I ordered a new bible.  My old faithful one has been squeezed dry and so I am eager to begin again the habit of diving into the fresh and living Word with the One who IS the Word.  Word!  

As you can see here, I have made several designs to put before my eyes to remind me of whose I am, who I am and what I want in my life: to enjoy God and myself and those He's given to bless my life and to look and feel great.  Those are simple desires, and yet I have work to do in order to get there.

I listened to a couple of fantastic podcasts yesterday about goals for health and morning routines.  It helped me understand realistic processes (which are often a complete anathema to me) and allowed me to see how I can go forward honoring some bits of my old self while embracing my now self so that I can become my whole self.

There are emotions to regulate, spiritual warfare to battle, truths to embrace, strongholds to evict and extra energy to burn.  I am going to keep before me the reminder of the 80/20 principle...I need to receive 80% and give 20%.  This shift alone will be LIFE changing for me.  As my friend Arthur mentioned years ago, when you give, give, give and do not receive much, ya run out.  It's simple math.

So, to continue combating the Jezebel nastiness of refusing to receive and to go in the opposite spirit of that, I will keep on changing my life so I can give from an overflowing cup.  It feels like the right time to let go of a frenzied mindset, embrace being addicted to peace and allowing myself to know and FEEL that God is good all.the.time.  

Oh, and listening to bits of me that have a bit to say about some pain is a plan too...

How about you?  How is your May faring?

An Update

 Hello!

As I ponder sharing myself and of our lives through Exuberant for Life, I feel such tug and pull. Is it possible the time for feeling free to share regularly will come and that I'm just in the midst of *still* a LOT of emotional healing? Likely.

Getting my house in order has taken more than a decade. In my ignorance and immature zeal I thought it would take a week. That was before I knew anything much about the inner world and the copious amounts of healing needed for oh-so-many wounds.

The other day as the Tall Guy and I chatted, I shared with him what my friend MB is helping me to realize: the journey to being whole is exhausting, time consuming and often feels like battling monsters. While it's WORTH the time and energy (and whatever resources are required), it is a bit mind boggling just how much the processes seem to hinder what used to be considered 'normal life.' He said that is why people choose NOT to deal with it, and in a flash I understood!

The breaker anointing we both have is no small thing, and it is for our posterity that we keep learning and clinging to the One who knows and who gives us strength to continue. Imparting will come, I hope (for I long to get to that work!), yet for now I must be content to just BE, and to keep receiving from the Life Giver and to do the work set before me each day.

I suspect the Ruler portion of my spirit is finally getting to express itself. The inner-man healing work which began more than six years ago is resulting in things like fresh curtains being installed to replace worn out blankets for window coverings as well as setting up simple and good looking systems so we can do what we were designed to do here -create! play! work! love! rest!

I am SO glad to know about productive pain....the kind which hurts but which has a redemptive and good-for-me purpose. Though it doesn't make anything easier, it reminds me to keep taking courage as I face all these invisible and unnamable issues, day in and day out while simultaneously caring for self, family, home and a relationship or two beyond these walls. Courage is a resource I have come to appreciate.

As I keep doing the work which I cannot really name, see or understand very well, I often think of YOU and the journey you are on.

I'm reminded too of the holy work we do to break general cycles of iniquity and I rejoice that there is healing for the soul.

Keeping on,

Kate

Dominion At Home

As I reflect upon the past several years, I recognize a common theme, which I have not been able to see clearly until this morning.  

Whenever my passion for something gets the better of me, certain areas of my life suffer.  

When that happens, I suffer, as do the people around me.

I suppose we all have our limitations.  You might be better at knowing yours than I have been at knowing my own.  

It is likely I have less ability to manage things in my life than I previously thought.  As I look around me, even this morning, I see loads of evidence that I am not managing well some of what I have been given.  

I ask myself: what types of activities, mindsets and processes disable my ability to keep certain aspects of my life running?  This is what I need to consider.

To run well the race set before me, I need to take inventory of what is going well, celebrate what has been shifted that is now well-stewarded which once was not, and be honest about what is currently falling below my own standards.

To give you a small example, just now when I went to the coffee pot to get the decaf brewing, I noticed what I had not last night before I retired.  The tiny kitchen is overrun with items needing immediate attention: boys winter gear & light sabers, dirty dishes, overflowing trash.  

The one person who has the duty to care for the dishes can knock that chore out in about 30 minutes (fewer if he can resist the temptation to be distracted).  The snowsuits and boy toys can be put away in seconds; trash remedied in moments.

What is at the heart of it all, and the reason I share, is because I know that in the past two days I have been obsessed with what is happening in certain areas of my nation.  Putting such intense focus on moment-by-moment news has sucked all the energy out of me for making sure my home is running properly.

Who cares about a well-run home?  I do!!!  It is the one physical place where I spend almost all of my time, as do these children!  It is supposed to be a nurturing place; a place of warmth and of acceptance where love and hope are continually renewed.  

In the past days it has been anything but.  

I see now how giving almost all of my attention to what is happening nationally impedes my ability to keep these home fires burning.  The result?  The fruit?  The children have been fighting; my husband has barely had a proper meal in days and we have all been sustained on bits of nourishment here and there without any proper oversight from me.

I have also sadly neglected my self, which is the life-long pattern I have spent the past several years learning how to adjust.  

As I write this, I can see how ignoring my needs starts the cycle of not giving others what they need and deserve: my time, my love, my EFFORT.  

To see that I have not given my self time, love or effort is sobering.  Being indifferent towards myself does not bless anyone.

My soul is finite and can only do so much on any given day.

As I continue the journey of learning to live life as a whole person, I continue to need to make changes in order to better execute this life for which I am so exuberant.

While I know it is not the end of the world, it needs to be the end of me doing too much in one area and not enough in others.  Physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health matter, no matter what is happening in Washington D.C. or anywhere else in the nation and world.

I am reminded of Kris Ann Hall's words this week: we must focus on our local and state governing bodies in order to affect real change.  Similarly, I must turn my focus to making myself and then my home a place of beauty and of peace and of faith in the One who gives us breath.  That process begins with my heart, soul, mind and body, which have been VERY busy with matters too far beyond my reach.

Yes, I pray for God's will on the earth, and I agree with Him to make happen here what He would like, and I will continue to intercede where He leads; however I must also put in the work of what He has given me to do...here...today.  My realm is that of this little home; tending to its bodies and its needs is my responsibility, as is caring for my own self!  

Real transformation begins inside of us, and from that place, rivers of life can flow.  

It is time to focus first on what matters most.  The 80/20 principle comes to mind, as do so many others.  I will now take courage to return to what needs to have my first priority...and then from a place of strength there, will see what is left to give beyond the hearth and home.

On Patriotism and Inner Acceptance of Whatever IS True

I've spent a long time reading posts of others and considering so much information. Finally, a bit from my own innards erupts and I share it here, in case you care to read.

No matter what the truth is about any of it, I want to know. I am not concerned about "party" or devoted to any leader blindly, including any POTUS. I want justice for all and want the truth exposed all the way around and I'll adjust to whatever the facts are even if I can't stand what comes to light. 

I learned long ago that men and women are not angels and so am wiling to face embarrassment, sadness, anger, disgust etc if/when anyone I believed in/trusted has been dishonest, lied or covered up crimes for themselves or someone else. 

I'm a patriot of this nation and want it's best for it's people. 

While we don't all agree on what that looks like, it's important we have the emotional maturity (which has to be developed as it isn't automatic) to have logical and honest discussions. 

I might not have the maturity yet...but am learning and growing and willing to face my own faults, errors and wrongdoings. I know how to accept grace when I'm wrong and receive love when in error and have decades of messing up and then adjusting my behavior to not be such a fool. 

If there are those who represent us (or have or who seek to) who have been/are dishonest, I don't care WHAT side they're on. Those deeds need to be exposed and brought to light. I am not interested in fueling and adding to the garbage by saying I love everything some people do and dislike their opponents. 

I am willing to concede perhaps I've been duped as it seems so many have been. I don't have all the facts and indeed long for systems whereby we can access facts without all the corporate and financially biased drama etc. 

IF there are major parties (business, corporations, individuals, etc) who are part of a massive deceptive "cover up" of what's really happened/happening, then I literally pray that all gets exposed, no matter WHO has participated. We (the Republic and indeed the world) need to know what's true and what the facts are. 

We must get tot he point where we all can access information to understand the big picture and then can we, once INFORMED, decide for ourselves how to handle those who have misused their governing privileges which we gave them by electing them. 

Finally, I don't need to be told what the facts mean...I can figure that out for myself because I don't drink the water and was reared to be fiercely independent and to think for myself. I do look for sources willing to swim upstream from chatter and noise which doesn't sit right with me. Oh, how developing discernment has messed with my ability to think and consider information. Listening to our gut sense (etc) is so important. 

“Listen carefully and I highly suggest you watch the full episode... Full: https://t.co/lEBuVRHbqO Backup link: https://t.co/4pQ6nFRd95 https://t.co/UnTY69lREJ”

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Please watch this.

Man Love, Fathering and a Wife/Mama's Dream

It's the normal moments in life which make me swoon. 

I just overheard these two talking while they work on food prep for next week:

The tall Guy, slicing hard boiled eggs for our salads said, "We've gotta get better at keeping our cool when we're frustrated so we're not scary. I need to do that too." 

Andrew (age 13), smashing the egg yokes, replied, "I thought you were the perfect Dad." Then he sniggered and said, "Just kidding."

Tall Guy responded: "Nope. I'm not."

Andrew answered: "You're the perfect dad for me."

Me: [sitting over here pretending not to hear while I run to tell you]  🥰😍🤩🤣👏 🙌

Zeal Arising

This got me quite riled up this morning!  Not only do I need to keep allowing excellent people to fill my heart, ears and mind with truth and wisdom, I need to allow the little bit that spills over OUT of me.  I need to get the podcast done and published talking about certain things which are SO on my heart which will NOT shut up!!!  Not an echo!

Get the book on audio or hardcopy now!

For the Married Folks

Take a listen to Rabbi Daniel Lapin's podcast "How to Master the Curiously Complicated Machinery of Marriage"