Remaining A Well-Watered Garden During A Drought

Remaining A Well-Watered Garden During A Drought

This post from Jen C really blessed me today.  Thanking God for her and Chris and their ministry.  She's gently keeping it real.

Martial Principles Wives Need to Know!

Hello and welcome to the second post in the series called Honoring the King within Marriage.  You can read part one HERE.

As I share in the podcast and subsequent info below,  I'm excited for God's people to know about resources created by people who understand the importance of knowing and living by principles.  

Principle.  

Noun.

A fundamental, primary, or general law or truth from which others are derived:

                                  the principles of modern physics.

To hear today's audio blurb, please listen to the podcast below.

Episode Length  23:17 minutes

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For more info and resources, please continue reading!

From Laura Doyle's Facebook page today I noticed she's hosting a free webinar again! It's for any wives who are interested in renewing intimacy with their husbands.

Husbands: please feel free to forward this to your wives or others if you think they'll be interested.  There's a share button at the bottom of this post.  Feel free to copy and past the link to this page/post, too. 

Personally, I think Laura's stuff is awesome as she shares marital principles which are much needed for many of us who lack skills and knowledge.   I went through her free webinar about six months ago and loved it.  Whenever I apply the principles she shares my hubby immediately notices the difference.   

I'm signing up again because I need to hear this more than once!!

Here's what she writes about the webinar:

"Women, are you looking to renew the spark with your significant other?

In this FREE webinar,  I want to teach you the secrets to empowering your man, getting respect and reconnecting within your relationship. 

I'll teach you how to use your feminine gifts to ignite his "hero gene," critical ways to express your desires, a few key steps you can take today to feel more confident and so much more - all in the name of making your relationship easy and peaceful again.

Will you join me and countless others in renewing the spark in our relationships? It all starts by signing up for this FREE webinar.   Don't delay - learn how to transform your relationship for the better today."

You can sign up for her free webinar HERE.

 Click here to learn more about her books.

Below you can click through to watch her program on Amazon Prime:

Here are some books she has written:

                                        

Here's a wonderful resource I mentioned in the podcast...a book by Emerson Eggerichs.

You can click the image below and go into the site where you can hear an audio sample and purchase it in print, audio or kindle:

Too, I briefly mentioned this book.

Last and definitely NOT least, here is Mark Gungor, author of many books and dvd's and Pastor behind the brilliant 
Mark Gungor Show.

Click the image below to learn more and to purchase the DVD for your home, church, study group, etc.



Click below to watch a short (and in my opinion very funny) clip of A Tale of Two Brains by Mark Gungor

I love talking about making marriage better.  To read more, you can check out another blog I started called Pioneering Again.  

[I'm still sorting out how to streamline the information & resources since EFL covers a broad range of much needed stuff.]

What are YOUR thoughts, feelings and experiences?  I'd love to hear from YOU!  Please comment below or send me an email!

Blessings on your journey to honor the King of Kings within marriage and to encourage those who do!
~Kate

Boys To Men: A Personal Story

As I train up children, one son of the five is especially gifted in the art of knowing his own mind. Washing, drying and putting away the family dishes (with no machines to help) has been his particular and recent scene of battle as it was for a brother before him. This son has never been shy to express his opinions and that particular work has been distasteful to him since day one.

Yesterday, I had planned a very special outing for Valentine's Day. Since the weather has been 20 degrees F (-6 Celsius) and lower for months, we were due to experience temperatures in the 40's (4 Celsius). A trip was planned to traipse up our hill, dig out the snow and get a nice fire blazing. Hot dogs and s'mores were ready for roasting. We were set to enjoy the 2nd annual We Can Conquer the Long Winter Festival on our families three acres. I was so eager.

The one stipulation I required was that everyone's chores had to be done by 3 pm. No exceptions. In our home, chores are a significant part of the work, training and educational component of our children's lives. With the furnace finally working after being on the fritz for two weeks we were enjoying consistent warmth throughout our little home. 

As a humorous challenge, in the early afternoon the plumbing system seized and we had yet another unusual challenge to face. Daughter faced it with her usual tenacity while a son rose to the occasion to trouble shoot and communicate the trouble to those who could help after he did all he could (which was significant). Three of the other sons were dutiful to work on their chores with good attitudes and it looked like we were all set.

HOWEVER.

We win or loose together.

The son who hates the job of dishes (and who can blame him, really?) found numerous reasons NOT to get his work done. 

I've been there. Done that. You? 

With my life often affected by dire things I couldn't get a handle on, I often could not keep thoughts in my head long enough to keep children accountable for their choices and actions/inaction (long, sordid story!). Yesterday was different and I stood my ground.

The result? NO CAMPFIRE. 

There were tears and shouts of protest from the two five year olds who were devastated with anger and disappointment. The older three who had kept up with their chores kept their thoughts and feelings mostly to themselves as I suppose they might have been remembering times and events when they were the cause of similar disappointments due to the inevitable human "I don't want to" attitude.

This morning (and this is really the reason I'm writing this for you) that son came to me with dish towel and wet plate in hands, set his head upon my shoulder and told me how bad he feels that everyone lost out on the campfire because of him.

Short moral to the story? 

Mazur family for the win!

As I have pondered raising boys vs raising men, I am moved with respect by the processes of letting people reap what they sow...and how that work in and of itself is primarily able to cause boys to be men. Not cruelty, unkindness or tough rules....just letting God's ways work as He intended them. Sometimes I think clearing away the mental clutter in order to simply let God's ways work their Wonder is some of the most challenging stuff a family and culture can face. 

Has God left us alone without help as we rear our families and affect our culture? Nope. His truths and treasures and ways are clear to know and do with His leadership unique for each family and situation and culture.

And now, thanks to Him, I have a son who is going from boy to little man, who is shifting from being one who loves to do what he wants to whenever he feels like it to a little man who understands that what he does (and doesn't do) affects the people he loves. 

And he came to me for solace at his actions! What an honor! What trust I have earned in this strong one! 

I'm sure something in the frontal part of his brain is now stronger, as is my respect for him and possibly his for others.

And me? After a really long season stuck in doors I am celebrating that even in the midst of cold and dark seasons in life, love always wins and new things bloom and blossom eventually.

The hero honestly in all of this? Of course it is my hubby, who will remain nameless because he's always so needing time alone to recharge his enormous inner batteries after working so fearlessly to train these five men while at the same time being kind and loving to the two women who reside and live along side him. Not an easy task, I assure you, for oodles of reasons.

To all of you who are pouring into children, and especially the male ones, I send my great big blessings to you as you allow their masculinity to thrive while also helping steer things so they can become protectors and helpers. May they be sensitive to and tend well to their own needs as well as those of others, asking for help unashamedly whenever they need it. May you help them learn to choose what's right when they really do not want to. It's no easy task. And may you mom's and dad's be refresh and renewed as you do the most important work on earth: tending to the needs of your own families!

Love Always Wins

Are you getting ready to feel your own feelings?  It's no small thing.

In fact, it's a HUGE thing.  

As you approach the journey, know LOVE always wins.

Podcast length: 6:44

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Focusing on Strengths in Marriage- An Audio Blog Entry

Hi Everybody!!!!



I don't have time to write out a post today for you all so here it is in audio format!  It's in two parts.  The first podcast (in orange) is  about 8 minutes long.  Click the triangle button below to listen.

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Next is part two!  The length of the second audio blurb is just under 20 minutes.

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See a sample of strengths below.  It's a glimpse of my top five. :)

Are you interested in taking the test for yourself?   You can get an access code to take the test and get your top five strengths when you buy the audio book below.

Click below to hear a sample of the audio book below now.

Take the Strength Finder Test here!!!





These two men together have really helped me understand the book (above) and why it's important.  The video below helped me a lot.  Watch by clicking on the video box below.

I looked at a lot of videos yesterday.  I'm hoping this is the one I watched.  My hubby is an achiever and I never saw it until yesterday...Jimmy's stories are SO helpful for me to see what's been going on and how to go forward.  Click the box below to see another great video.

Other books I really liked for marriage help:



Click below to read about this book which we both REALLY got a lot out of:




Click below to hear an audio sample of this book which was SO helpful for me!




I'm eager to hear about your strengths, too!  Please feel free to comment and share below!

Saying YES

"I surrender all my dreams, heart....  I say yes to Your will and Your plans....I say Yes to Your life in my hands..."

This and other songs from this album have helped some to be released into intimacy with the Almighty.

Click the play button below to hear "Say YES" by Julie Meyer 

Want to here more audio samples from this album?  Click the image below.   

TRUST

Where do we put our trust????

Try THIS for fun!

"Some trust in chariots, some trust horses; I'll trust in the name of the L*rd G*d of Israel..." <3 <3 <

Julie Meyer - Jewish Medley

Addressing Our Emotions Head On (even our adult ones)

Do you know how to help yourself when you're REALLY mad?  Do you know how to feel mad or do you shove it, etc?  I didn't know how to feel it or much of anything and the reason why is too long a story for today.

Did you try to speak out and no one listened?  Or were you shamed for expressing your feelings and taught they were best felt in solitude?  It's time for some light on that!!

You can now listen to YOURSELF...You can be the parent to yourself that you needed then.  Too, the good news is God can parent you while you parent yourself.   He can also parent you when you're out of ideas!!!

Did you have help learning how to feel mad (etc) and stay in relational mode?  Yeah, right.  Me either.

If you didn't, some of the videos below show examples of what nurturing looks like.  It's mind boggling for those of us who for whatever reason come from family units where emotions were NOT handled well.

The videos cover several emotions a child experiences.  

So whether you're new to the idea of giving dignity to your emotions (or someone elses), caring for children who have feelings, or dealing with yourself or others who feel stuff, I recommend watching all of these short videos!!  

In order to to feel with God we need to know:

1) that what we're feeling is OKAY always

2) that He designed feelings as part of our human experience and therefore HE gives us dignity and permission to FEEL them

3) We don't know what it's called (the feeling) unless someone who knows tells us.  God can attune to us by the Holy Spirit and teach us the names of our own feelings.  He knows what we're feeling and to feel is to heal!!!  

(Personal note:  I think these videos helped me massively understand and imagine so I can picture how I needed to be treated, how I can let God attune to and help me so I can receive His comfort rather than fight or resist it. It also massively helped me see how I can treat the parts within me or others that are still waiting for someone to name them and what they're feeling and validate that they have the right to feel what they've been feeling for me all my life since I wasn''t able to feel my own stuff then because it was too much without helpers...)

Note: the concept of attuning is SO important....and is an aspect of what the Coursey's do so well in the videos below.  To learn more about what attuning is and why it's SO vital,  you can visit HERE for some short video explanations.

First, watch as Daddy Chris Coursey helps do the work of attuning when child is ANGRY:  

Here child is afraid...very afraid...well done Mom and Dad!

Here, Mommy Jen Coursey helps little man as he deals with being really frustrated. 

New experiences can be overwhelming.  Having help from someone who's paying attention, watching and listening while also having words for us is WONDERFUL.

Since so many of our parents did NOT have this stuff done for them, they had NO idea how to do it with us.  So...we often were neglected or abused when we needed THIS sort of help.

The good news?  God wired our brains to feel our big right brained emotions and get back to shalom/peace within ninety seconds by the time we're four years old.  If a child can learn it with trial and error, time and help, SO CAN WE.  It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Please note: according to Dr Jim Wilder we need to be at a certain level of maturity in order to do this.  He says if we are at level one, we need other needs met first.

Where is your maturity?  Peek here to learn more about that.

If you're at a certain level, in my experience with myself, my six children ages 5-15 and others who are adults of all ages, you can work with yourself and your parts and be gentle with them.  Dr Wilder's PAIN lab explains the timing and the math behind any addiction and what's going on.  I appreciate his wrist watch info and have tested it out to be very true.

(Sexual) Addiction Part 5: Pain Lab

Remember there's also another component to keep in mind...getting a handle on this aspect of our life in Christ is a HUGE component in this process, too and can be hindering the processes quite severely:

How To Be Delivered: Derek Prince

Finally, blessings to you and thanks SO much for reading and watching.  Keep pressing on!!!!

If you'd like life coaching, please visit here for a listing of helpers available.

Fixing the Broken Discipleship Factory - A Free Webinar from DWI

I have SO much passion when I think about Jesus' discipleship...oh, how I could say so much about that!  Instead, I will share what I just received: an email invitation to this webinar.  I just signed up!  See if it's something you're interested in too.

Oh, and I generally and most often think of the "church" as God's Beloved - His Bride rather than the building/meeting place. I think it refers to people ("the Church") as opposed to a place.   Exuberant

Blessings, Kate

Changing the Way the Church Makes Disciples The church has failed to produce spiritually-minded, emotionally mature, relationally connected followers of Jesus Christ. They are, instead, producing an ever-increasing number of stuck, stalled, and dissatisfied Christians. Why? The model for discipleship in the church is incomplete. While the goal is to see every Christian experiencing a deeper walk with God, there are obstacles on the path that keep this from happening. Faulty Belief Systems (this is deeper than mere doctrine) Lack of Belonging (lost of identity and Christian community) Emotional Baggage (lack of healing blocks maturity) Bondage to Sin (with no idea of how to get free) Discover the discipleship model helping people identify and overcome these obstacles that keep them from a deeper walk with God. This is how we fix the broken discipleship factory, we change the way the church makes disciples! Wednesday  |  January 31  |  Noon ET REGISTER FOR THE FREE WEBINAR

Feelings In The Next Generation

Inspired by the Coursey's videos showing them attuning to, connecting with and empowering their children to feel their own feelings, I continue to work with my own self (and places within that needed to be seen and felt and comforted and empowered) and my children, I confess it's been so wild around here!

Recently as our daughter becomes a young lady and learns how to feel (and not bury, hide from or distract from) her very God-given emotions, I experienced such a tumult while walking along side her.

In this podcast, you'll hear my raw experience as I work with her as she begins to feel her own feelings, too.  I think she's beginning to feel proper soul shame for the first time (the cure for narcissism) as well as hopeless despair.

While I throw a lot of info out there, I admit there's a whole lot I failed to mention like my own fears, hopeless despair (etc) being aroused as I went through the process with her.

I hope you enjoy this 13:07 minute audio clip.  Blessings!

Enjoy this free episode  Length: 13:07

Links mentioned:

Unencumbered Life Coaching with Mic (Michelle)

How does this land for you?  I'd love to hear from you!  Please share in the comments below part of your journey!!!!

Teamwork: How To????

I am always searching for principles ...even while I follow my inner nudges to peek around on Facebook!!!

To back up, the other day I felt nudged to look at some books in order to help me understand new ideas for ways I can sow into my marriage.  I found this in audible and listened to the sample clip and was eager to learn more.

Click the image below to listen to a free audio sample of Jimmy Evan's book (he's got great stuff on marriage!!!  Check out a variety of his books here!)

I told hubby (using my new wonderful empowered wife skills) that I would LOVE to know his opinion...and before I knew it he does what he does and off we went into a new adventure learning about our strengths.

Click below to hear a free audio sample.  If you buy the audio book you receive an email with a code to access the test to find out your top five! 

In addition to all this, I'm so thankful for the dialogue today with a person who invested his life in helping others grow to be better people.  He works with children in a camp setting in South Africa and I have admired his choice to pour into those kids as well as bless his family.  He shared with me some tips about leadership which I will ponder more later.  I wanted to record them here for you in case it helps you, too.  He gave me permission to share.  

Here's his initial comment:

The challenge of explaining teamwork to groups on camp.... ( I have this same conversation on almost a daily basis)

Me " What do you think you could learn from the activity you have just completed?"

Group: "Teamwork!"

Me :" Teamwork is a very broad subject. What aspect of teamwork do you think you needed to do the activity properly?"

Group " Working together"

Me." Yes, that is team work but what specific things did you do to enable you to work together better?"

Group "Teamwork!"

And that's how the cycle of conversation goes until I start mentioning the specifics.....
😳🤔🤣

It's clear many are taught to just give clinical answers and not taught understanding   ]

I admitted I was clueless too and asked for his help.  He was honest and said he struggled too...then he came up with these gems:

"The keys for me are :
1) We need each other. No one can do it on their own.
2) We are all valuable and need to be treated as such 
3) We all have our weaknesses. Protect the weak because one day it will be your turn to be weak.
4) Trust and proper communication are vital.
5) Serve and build others up rather than dictate.

And from a Christian perspective - Love, mercy and forgiveness go a long way

 And let each person lead from their unique skills or abilities.

I often use a five finger contract.
I hold my open hand up and ask the kids what does each finger represent to them and then explain it like this :

The thumb (thumbs up) represents encouragement ( well done, you can do it, you're amazing. Etc)
The index finger is used for pointing. It represents judgement. I'm judging others when I point my finger. ( I'm right, you're wrong. Or pointing out the faults of others to make them look bad and me better) Don't judge others. Judge yourself (plank in your own eye).
The middle finger.... That's rude. Watch how we speak to each other. Control our tongue. Use it to bless not curse.
The ring finger - it represents marriage and commitment. It's a decision not to quit. To persevere and always give my best for the sake of others and myself.
Lastly the little finger - it represents the weak things in our lives. If we cut it off our hand is weaker with it missing and looks funny. We are all weak at certain things and strong at others. My strength is someone's weakness and vice versa. If we protect the weak and treat them as the most important it contributes to the team not weakens it.

Then I make a fist and say - when all my fingers work together their combined strength makes power. By themselves each finger can be broken. As a fist it's very difficult to break.
Work together and your are a fist.

Lastly I get them to agree to a ' contract' of how they will treat each other based on each finger. Start simple and build on it.
When things fall apart then I say to the people concerned - remember your agreement? Stop being a middle finger or I raise my the appropriate finger ( other than the middle one 🤣) and cough to get their attention.

They get it quickly enough"

Thanks, AC!

What is your experience with teamwork and such things?  Marriage, family life, business, ministry...how does teamwork look in your world?  What are you doing to build your strengths???  Please comment below!  We'd love to hear from you!

Be blessed!

~Kate

Michigan USA

This post may contain affiliate links.   Here's my official disclosure.

Oh, To Renew Our Minds!

21 Day Brain Detox Challenge...  Day 17

Coming Under & Staying Low

Putting this out there quick for you all...  BLESSINGS to you as you DO it!

💗💜💛💚💙💕💓

Prayer and Fasting by Derek Prince

John Wesley

Andrew Murray

"He that is down
Need fear no fall

He that is low no pride

He that is humble ever shall

Have God to be his guide."

~John Bunyan

"When you're on the floor you're safe. There's no lower you can go." ~DP

"Fasting: Abstaining from food for spiritual purposes." ~DP

Yom Kippur

To humble the soul means to fast!  The Jewish people know this.  On the day of atonement they afflict their souls with fasting.

"Don't start praying until you've dealt with your pride!"

"I will release My Spirt on all flesh!" ~G*d

"What will release the spirit of G*d?"

It's in the bible!

"There are about one billion Muslims in the earth that have never been touched by the Spirit of God.  How are we going to reach them?  What will release the Spirit of God?  I tell you if you've ever dealt with Islam.  It's an impregnable fortress to any natural approach.  You have to meet it with the spiritual means.  What is G*d's program?  CALL A FAST...."

Wake up Kate.  Wake up.

Wow.  This is really significant.  Major big time.  Humbling myself starting now.  Yikes!

I'm looking at fasting according the RG of each day in order to be able to pray effectively as a result.  I never realized fasting is to humble ourselves and THEN we're to pray.  Oh, the sequence!

Now I can start making progress on some of the assignments I've been holding onto for decades and didn't know what to do!  THANK YOU G*D!