Please watch this.

Man Love, Fathering and a Wife/Mama's Dream

It's the normal moments in life which make me swoon. 

I just overheard these two talking while they work on food prep for next week:

The tall Guy, slicing hard boiled eggs for our salads said, "We've gotta get better at keeping our cool when we're frustrated so we're not scary. I need to do that too." 

Andrew (age 13), smashing the egg yokes, replied, "I thought you were the perfect Dad." Then he sniggered and said, "Just kidding."

Tall Guy responded: "Nope. I'm not."

Andrew answered: "You're the perfect dad for me."

Me: [sitting over here pretending not to hear while I run to tell you]  🥰😍🤩🤣👏 🙌

Zeal Arising

This got me quite riled up this morning!  Not only do I need to keep allowing excellent people to fill my heart, ears and mind with truth and wisdom, I need to allow the little bit that spills over OUT of me.  I need to get the podcast done and published talking about certain things which are SO on my heart which will NOT shut up!!!  Not an echo!

Get the book on audio or hardcopy now!

For the Married Folks

Take a listen to Rabbi Daniel Lapin's podcast "How to Master the Curiously Complicated Machinery of Marriage"

Another First for A Son

First born
First day
First coo & giggle
Words so fast

First sit, then crawl, then steps!
Fast forward through so many firsts 
Now the job he's long sought! 

How elated I still feel as he reaches out to the world beyond, embracing what's his to enjoy and 
So proud of him
Even after more than 17 years of savoring each first. 

Motherhood is one of THE sweetest things.

Blooming Boys

This morning our middle son Andrew (13) asked to visit the village library.  He likes helping organize and working with the librarian Miss Shirley.  He spent an hour or two with her and then his Dad drove up to get him as a thunderstorm dampened all our doors; it wasn't safe for him to walk home as he would normally.

This afternoon our firstborn son Luke (17) headed off walking to the local village burger joint for his first official work day washing dishes.  This has been a long time coming and it was especially sweet to send him off with blessings of fun.  How he and I have longed and waited for him to have a practical outlet to spend his enormous energy in a way that he can trade for money!  Congratulations Luke!  

Also today, our third son David (11) worked through all the steps necessary to prepare and bake his own lemon cake for his birthday tomorrow (yes, he prefers to make his own!) and is now walking through the steps to make butter cream frosting.  He likes when I help him find a youtube video. I quickly scan the list looking for practical and simple how-to's, show him and then let him choose which one he'd like best to follow.  Once he's done he heads to the kitchen, watches the video stoping, rewinding and reviewing as needed and working diligently on all the details until he's done!  An impressive scratch baker, he is also learning about how to use substitutions such as stevia, honey, coconut or almond flour, coconut oil and other items we keep on hand instead of the old traditional foods we (mostly) no longer keep supplied for health reasons.

I am so proud of my sons who have each been groomed by their Papa to do real life here at home.  What a blessing it is to know our little men are prospering in life as well as in their studies.  The Moore Formula of 1/3 work, 1/3 service and 1/3 academics is such a fantastic foundation to build upon and I'm grateful each day for the opportunity to walk alongside these children while they grow and learn and become who they will be.  

How Should We Then Live??

If you click a link I provide here, I might earn a small commission at NO EXTRA charge to you.

During my first and only year at bible college, I had the ridiculous pleasure of sitting under the teaching of Dr. Jack Layman.  He made history and western civ MIND BLOWING.  He introduced me also to philosophy which fascinated me beyond words.  

Over the course of those two semesters, he shared Francis Schaeffer's HOW SHOULD WE THEN LIVE video; the book was required reading.  I am forever grateful for that time and for Dr. Layman helping bring my mind up to speed with how/why our culture IS the way it is.  

Last night I was wow'ed all over when hubby and I started watching this with our two older children who are studying western civilization via a fantastic homeschool curriculum written by Linda Hobar called Mystery of History.

I love the way Schaeffer weaves in art and science along with religious practices while taking us along to places where it all happened.  The filming is brilliant.  Our 17 year old son who excels as a film maker, enjoyed the artistic story telling.  

It helps me make sense anew of where we are today.  I look forward to the next 10 weeks as we study and discuss ramifications.  The conversation last night was stellar and lasted hours past the first lesson.

More SRATools

For those who deal in some capacity with SRA there is an online resources available here.  Thanks to my friend SR for sharing!!

Inner Life - It Begins

It finally happened.

I hit the emotional dumping grounds where the life-long suffering (from having a mentally ill parent with personality disorder-just diagnosed) has been hiding within me.

I could NEVER get to it!

Now there are massive emotional areas I can finally "get to" and the stuff on this healing center site goes along with nicely with what I've been led to learn and practice over the past decade.

I've spent the past couple of months laying low and healing from the stuff I've finally had the strength (etc) to face. It's been such a challenge and I appreciate these techniques which I can work on in private at home while I am with our children all day. 

It's making a difference gradually. I'm finally in NO hurry and am happy with whatever pace I find myself in day by day.

I'm sharing an affiliate link with you in case you get a nudge to take a peek too. If you sign up for the healing center through my link, I will earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Click the image below to learn more.

Feel free to email me at exuberantforlife@gmail.com if you have questions, or comment below and I'll get back with you as soon as I'm able.  

Inner Life (an intermission)

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As I'm going along dealing FINALLY with all sorts of stuff I could not get to before, I am needing to take a bit of a break from sharing with you.  I have some posts in draft form and simply do not have the strength, energy or will to get the editing finished even though it would take me a bit longer than it will to write this whole thing for you!

To give you some context, when I was about 12 years old I hugged my Grandma goodby one fine day and she gave me a smooch.  She had a cold sore on her lip and since then I've had them erupt on and off.  They are NEVER fun.

I've been SO happy not to have had any in a long time.

Last weekend I was very ill with an out-of-nowhere migraine headache which when exposed to any daylight caused vomiting.  I felt terrible all that day...and though the next day I was better, a small bump developed on my lip the following week.

I didn't pay much attention to it AT ALL..and in fact forgot to do the usual things to help the ity bity flare-up cease and desist.  Instead what happened was it began to ooze and ooze and burn and ooze and SPREAD (so gross AND contagious!!!)...and now I have a huge burning patch of I-dunno-what under my bottom lip all the way to my chin.  It's as though the oozing continues and scabs and then each time I talk or eat it opens some of the healing places.  😳

Well, lemme tell you there's a lot of deliverance and inner healing going on...all in areas far beyond my reach until now and I'm reminded of the principle that my body has kept score. In other words, it's letting to of a life time of JUNK.   That's really good news!!!!

However...

..tonight I finally had the courage to look at it under a magnified mirror and was saddened to see what's happening.  While it IS getting better it is still very much in need of help.  So...I have cleaned it throughly, dabbed with hydrogen peroxide, let it dry and then sprayed it with peppermint oil.  Once that dried a bit I gobbed on lots of vitamin E creme.

It looks so horrible that I couldn't bare to let my hubby and kids see it for fear of worrying or disgusting them (plus I think keeping it from air, etc is a wise move), so I covered it with cotton pads and stuck them down gently with bandages.  While this might seem like no big deal, I know I need to not talk and not eat tonight in order to give it all a huge chance to heal.  My flapping jaw isn't good for that new skin growth making it's way underneath all that nastiness.

I am very grateful the past two nights I've been able to sleep pretty well.  For two nights before that it was oozing so badly I couldn't rest as I had to keep dabbing the nasty stuff!!  😰

I don't normally talk about such gross stuff...and the only reason I'm telling you now is because it HURTS and I'm trying not to cry.  My nerves feel super raw and I need comfort...and so I will plop myself down on the deck where the flowers and fruits, veggies and herbs grow and the birds flutter around doing their lovely things and I will read the great book I'm in the middle of.  I might sneak down some sort of liquid protein through a straw in order to give in and take some over-the-counter pain meds.  I hate to take anything like that unless I have to...yet I know this stress I'm feeling from the pain is apt to cause my body to react even more.  😷

Oh, and I'll work through PM's 3 steps to emotional healing too, because all this healing is sometimes....well, PAINFUL.  Worth it, of course,  yet 😢

Once I have my strength back, I'll get working on some posts for ya.  I have a lot of things to share which have come to light!!

Inner Life Part 4

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As I face what IS and what HAS been in order to decide what I want FROM NOW ON to look like, I am grateful for glimmers of light, helping hands and healing words along the way.  The journey in G*d and with Him is one entire aspect of reality...and the walk with others and myself another.

Learning I am an exhorter type of person really helps me frame things so I understand better.  It helps me accept how G*d made me one of the seven templates for humanity.  Lots of words, big ideas, exuberance for His life all around is part of the makeup of what's okay about me.

For people who've been reared by someone with cluster B personality disorders (including narcissism) there are some really dismal realities they face.  Taking the bull by the horns as my mother would say and dealing with it all takes no small amount of courage.  While I am aware of many things I lack, courage isn't usually one of them.

Learning of my energy type has been an interesting study as well.

Allow me to back up.

When the mother in your life believes the worst about you, cannot encourage, support or love you in a way you need and verbally assaults you more often than not, there's a need for finding out what's true and good and right about yourself.  Too, the nasty things spoken need to be neutralized and then good things added.  In other words, when the person God gave you to be the nurturer instead sows thorns and thistles into your life, it DOES things to a person.  It takes time and commitment to Truth and a willingness to be stripped bare in order for new life to be sown.  Then it takes time for those good seeds to germinate and bring forth good things.  How I am grateful for the Gentle Gardner!

Others who have been healed from a childhood of assaults by a parent have my full respect and attention. I have appreciated receiving truth and life from those who've faced the abuse and all the scary and upsetting things which go along with not being safe in the home of your youth.  I'll share more about that some other time.

Inner Life Part 3

Another aspect of facing truth and being made free is acknowledging the pain inside myself.  I appreciate one man's work to learn healing techniques for people under his brief care as a medic.  He's written a short book and recently published a video explaining three easy steps to emotional healing.  I marveled as he explained the simplicity of it...and since watching that I've been working on oodles of areas in my life which have surfaced in just a week or so.

This morning the heaviness I felt seemed to have several causes, some of which I've mentioned already.  Two more seem to be deep emotional and mental pain because of the narcissistic abuse I've endured all my life as well as a sort of hiding I think I've done in order to survive it all over the long haul.

I had no idea when I took a break from things years ago that so much needed to be exposed and unearthed within me.  I needed to learn about the need for deliverance, the reality of true inner healing, that everyone is not basically kind and that we can reap junk from what other people have sown.

The good news in there is multifaceted:

I am still adored (and have always been) by the One who knit me together.

He isn't afraid of the big bad wolves.

He has made ample provisions for the ills of this life.

Facing other people's junk, weeding the crud they added to the garden of my life and learning to sow good things even when things seem bleak and barren is really a master plan of living an exuberant life.

Not So Terrible Two's

Before the internet made it's way into many of our homes, in my quest make life work in the setting of family existence, I happened upon a radio broadcast featuring John Rosemond.  He and the host were talking about the book, "Family of Value" and I remember going fast to the local bookstore that same week.  The receipt is still in the back of the book.

That book has travelled through many moves, heartaches and ups and downs within our family.  Anytime I read even a sentence I am jolted back to the reality of how important logic, limits and sanity are for the family...and how G*d's intention is for families to live well together.  The author  tells like it is and gives principle after principle about what's really needed within the family...and his sobering honesty and humor are part of the reason (literally) I agreed to mother my husband's seven children (I bore him six). 

I found another concept explained well in the book Making the Two's Terrific by the same writer.  I was fascinated by his ideas and had not heard them anywhere else.   I had not known anyone to have his perspective or that type of attitude or success with children.   Since my innards believed he was RIGHT I set out to try and experimented using his methods on our sweet and feisty toddlers...and I was very pleased to find he was right. 

Now after 15 years of testing and working with his ideas as well as seeing the bad affects when those principles are NOT done (a cultural plague which I call the missing generation), I am still recommending his books, etc to anyone who cares to listen.  :)  I'll share more later about the specifics.

Keep reading for reviews of his great stuff:

John Rosemond's A Family of Value presents a critical view of the child care literature of the past quarter century and argues for an end to overindulgent parenting and a return to the goal of instilling moral values, such as responsibility, respectfulness, and resourcefulness.

In a completely revised and updated edition of his classic parenting guide, nationally recognized expert John Rosemond offers practical, tantrum-free methods for raising toddlers and getting them through the “terrible” times from age eighteen to thirty-six months. 

Focusing on the developmental period spanning age eighteen to thirty-six-months, which renowned parenting expert John Rosemond dubs, “the twos,” Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific! offers practical parenting advice to ensure that every child’s “twos” are terrific.

By offering comprehensive tips on everything from toilet training to developing good habits for bedtime, as well as disciplinary techniques to control aggressive behaviors, Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific! approaches parenting in a straightforward, accessible manner that is easy for parents to implement and achieve success with their toddlers.

No bribing, meltdowns, nudging, or cajoling are necessary. All parents need is consistent, firm, and loving interactions with their toddler to guide him or her during the developmental years. The methods described by Rosemond also translate to success throughout other life endeavors such as school, relationship building, and even productivity in the distant tween and teen years. To ensure that earthquaking foot stomps, decibel-shattering screaming, and consistently stubborn behavior are not the norm for your toddler, consult Rosemond’s Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific!.   

All ideas expressed here are my own unless otherwise noted. This post may contain affiliate links.  If you purchase something through an affiliate link, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you - which helps support my large and ever growing family.  :) Also, I hope you'll consider supporting my writing, digital graphic arts, podcasts and more by becoming a patron!