Dominion At Home

As I reflect upon the past several years, I recognize a common theme, which I have not been able to see clearly until this morning.  

Whenever my passion for something gets the better of me, certain areas of my life suffer.  

When that happens, I suffer, as do the people around me.

I suppose we all have our limitations.  You might be better at knowing yours than I have been at knowing my own.  

It is likely I have less ability to manage things in my life than I previously thought.  As I look around me, even this morning, I see loads of evidence that I am not managing well some of what I have been given.  

I ask myself: what types of activities, mindsets and processes disable my ability to keep certain aspects of my life running?  This is what I need to consider.

To run well the race set before me, I need to take inventory of what is going well, celebrate what has been shifted that is now well-stewarded which once was not, and be honest about what is currently falling below my own standards.

To give you a small example, just now when I went to the coffee pot to get the decaf brewing, I noticed what I had not last night before I retired.  The tiny kitchen is overrun with items needing immediate attention: boys winter gear & light sabers, dirty dishes, overflowing trash.  

The one person who has the duty to care for the dishes can knock that chore out in about 30 minutes (fewer if he can resist the temptation to be distracted).  The snowsuits and boy toys can be put away in seconds; trash remedied in moments.

What is at the heart of it all, and the reason I share, is because I know that in the past two days I have been obsessed with what is happening in certain areas of my nation.  Putting such intense focus on moment-by-moment news has sucked all the energy out of me for making sure my home is running properly.

Who cares about a well-run home?  I do!!!  It is the one physical place where I spend almost all of my time, as do these children!  It is supposed to be a nurturing place; a place of warmth and of acceptance where love and hope are continually renewed.  

In the past days it has been anything but.  

I see now how giving almost all of my attention to what is happening nationally impedes my ability to keep these home fires burning.  The result?  The fruit?  The children have been fighting; my husband has barely had a proper meal in days and we have all been sustained on bits of nourishment here and there without any proper oversight from me.

I have also sadly neglected my self, which is the life-long pattern I have spent the past several years learning how to adjust.  

As I write this, I can see how ignoring my needs starts the cycle of not giving others what they need and deserve: my time, my love, my EFFORT.  

To see that I have not given my self time, love or effort is sobering.  Being indifferent towards myself does not bless anyone.

My soul is finite and can only do so much on any given day.

As I continue the journey of learning to live life as a whole person, I continue to need to make changes in order to better execute this life for which I am so exuberant.

While I know it is not the end of the world, it needs to be the end of me doing too much in one area and not enough in others.  Physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health matter, no matter what is happening in Washington D.C. or anywhere else in the nation and world.

I am reminded of Kris Ann Hall's words this week: we must focus on our local and state governing bodies in order to affect real change.  Similarly, I must turn my focus to making myself and then my home a place of beauty and of peace and of faith in the One who gives us breath.  That process begins with my heart, soul, mind and body, which have been VERY busy with matters too far beyond my reach.

Yes, I pray for God's will on the earth, and I agree with Him to make happen here what He would like, and I will continue to intercede where He leads; however I must also put in the work of what He has given me to do...here...today.  My realm is that of this little home; tending to its bodies and its needs is my responsibility, as is caring for my own self!  

Real transformation begins inside of us, and from that place, rivers of life can flow.  

It is time to focus first on what matters most.  The 80/20 principle comes to mind, as do so many others.  I will now take courage to return to what needs to have my first priority...and then from a place of strength there, will see what is left to give beyond the hearth and home.

On Patriotism and Inner Acceptance of Whatever IS True

I've spent a long time reading posts of others and considering so much information. Finally, a bit from my own innards erupts and I share it here, in case you care to read.

No matter what the truth is about any of it, I want to know. I am not concerned about "party" or devoted to any leader blindly, including any POTUS. I want justice for all and want the truth exposed all the way around and I'll adjust to whatever the facts are even if I can't stand what comes to light. 

I learned long ago that men and women are not angels and so am wiling to face embarrassment, sadness, anger, disgust etc if/when anyone I believed in/trusted has been dishonest, lied or covered up crimes for themselves or someone else. 

I'm a patriot of this nation and want it's best for it's people. 

While we don't all agree on what that looks like, it's important we have the emotional maturity (which has to be developed as it isn't automatic) to have logical and honest discussions. 

I might not have the maturity yet...but am learning and growing and willing to face my own faults, errors and wrongdoings. I know how to accept grace when I'm wrong and receive love when in error and have decades of messing up and then adjusting my behavior to not be such a fool. 

If there are those who represent us (or have or who seek to) who have been/are dishonest, I don't care WHAT side they're on. Those deeds need to be exposed and brought to light. I am not interested in fueling and adding to the garbage by saying I love everything some people do and dislike their opponents. 

I am willing to concede perhaps I've been duped as it seems so many have been. I don't have all the facts and indeed long for systems whereby we can access facts without all the corporate and financially biased drama etc. 

IF there are major parties (business, corporations, individuals, etc) who are part of a massive deceptive "cover up" of what's really happened/happening, then I literally pray that all gets exposed, no matter WHO has participated. We (the Republic and indeed the world) need to know what's true and what the facts are. 

We must get tot he point where we all can access information to understand the big picture and then can we, once INFORMED, decide for ourselves how to handle those who have misused their governing privileges which we gave them by electing them. 

Finally, I don't need to be told what the facts mean...I can figure that out for myself because I don't drink the water and was reared to be fiercely independent and to think for myself. I do look for sources willing to swim upstream from chatter and noise which doesn't sit right with me. Oh, how developing discernment has messed with my ability to think and consider information. Listening to our gut sense (etc) is so important. 

“Listen carefully and I highly suggest you watch the full episode... Full: https://t.co/lEBuVRHbqO Backup link: https://t.co/4pQ6nFRd95 https://t.co/UnTY69lREJ”

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“Listen carefully and I highly suggest you watch the full episode... Full: https://t.co/lEBuVRHbqO Backup link: https://t.co/4pQ6nFRd95https://t.co/UnTY69lREJ”

Please watch this.

Man Love, Fathering and a Wife/Mama's Dream

It's the normal moments in life which make me swoon. 

I just overheard these two talking while they work on food prep for next week:

The tall Guy, slicing hard boiled eggs for our salads said, "We've gotta get better at keeping our cool when we're frustrated so we're not scary. I need to do that too." 

Andrew (age 13), smashing the egg yokes, replied, "I thought you were the perfect Dad." Then he sniggered and said, "Just kidding."

Tall Guy responded: "Nope. I'm not."

Andrew answered: "You're the perfect dad for me."

Me: [sitting over here pretending not to hear while I run to tell you]  🥰😍🤩🤣👏 🙌

Zeal Arising

This got me quite riled up this morning!  Not only do I need to keep allowing excellent people to fill my heart, ears and mind with truth and wisdom, I need to allow the little bit that spills over OUT of me.  I need to get the podcast done and published talking about certain things which are SO on my heart which will NOT shut up!!!  Not an echo!

Get the book on audio or hardcopy now!

For the Married Folks

Take a listen to Rabbi Daniel Lapin's podcast "How to Master the Curiously Complicated Machinery of Marriage"

Another First for A Son

First born
First day
First coo & giggle
Words so fast

First sit, then crawl, then steps!
Fast forward through so many firsts 
Now the job he's long sought! 

How elated I still feel as he reaches out to the world beyond, embracing what's his to enjoy and 
So proud of him
Even after more than 17 years of savoring each first. 

Motherhood is one of THE sweetest things.

Blooming Boys

This morning our middle son Andrew (13) asked to visit the village library.  He likes helping organize and working with the librarian Miss Shirley.  He spent an hour or two with her and then his Dad drove up to get him as a thunderstorm dampened all our doors; it wasn't safe for him to walk home as he would normally.

This afternoon our firstborn son Luke (17) headed off walking to the local village burger joint for his first official work day washing dishes.  This has been a long time coming and it was especially sweet to send him off with blessings of fun.  How he and I have longed and waited for him to have a practical outlet to spend his enormous energy in a way that he can trade for money!  Congratulations Luke!  

Also today, our third son David (11) worked through all the steps necessary to prepare and bake his own lemon cake for his birthday tomorrow (yes, he prefers to make his own!) and is now walking through the steps to make butter cream frosting.  He likes when I help him find a youtube video. I quickly scan the list looking for practical and simple how-to's, show him and then let him choose which one he'd like best to follow.  Once he's done he heads to the kitchen, watches the video stoping, rewinding and reviewing as needed and working diligently on all the details until he's done!  An impressive scratch baker, he is also learning about how to use substitutions such as stevia, honey, coconut or almond flour, coconut oil and other items we keep on hand instead of the old traditional foods we (mostly) no longer keep supplied for health reasons.

I am so proud of my sons who have each been groomed by their Papa to do real life here at home.  What a blessing it is to know our little men are prospering in life as well as in their studies.  The Moore Formula of 1/3 work, 1/3 service and 1/3 academics is such a fantastic foundation to build upon and I'm grateful each day for the opportunity to walk alongside these children while they grow and learn and become who they will be.  

How Should We Then Live??

If you click a link I provide here, I might earn a small commission at NO EXTRA charge to you.

During my first and only year at bible college, I had the ridiculous pleasure of sitting under the teaching of Dr. Jack Layman.  He made history and western civ MIND BLOWING.  He introduced me also to philosophy which fascinated me beyond words.  

Over the course of those two semesters, he shared Francis Schaeffer's HOW SHOULD WE THEN LIVE video; the book was required reading.  I am forever grateful for that time and for Dr. Layman helping bring my mind up to speed with how/why our culture IS the way it is.  

Last night I was wow'ed all over when hubby and I started watching this with our two older children who are studying western civilization via a fantastic homeschool curriculum written by Linda Hobar called Mystery of History.

I love the way Schaeffer weaves in art and science along with religious practices while taking us along to places where it all happened.  The filming is brilliant.  Our 17 year old son who excels as a film maker, enjoyed the artistic story telling.  

It helps me make sense anew of where we are today.  I look forward to the next 10 weeks as we study and discuss ramifications.  The conversation last night was stellar and lasted hours past the first lesson.

More SRATools

For those who deal in some capacity with SRA there is an online resources available here.  Thanks to my friend SR for sharing!!

Inner Life - It Begins

It finally happened.

I hit the emotional dumping grounds where the life-long suffering (from having a mentally ill parent with personality disorder-just diagnosed) has been hiding within me.

I could NEVER get to it!

Now there are massive emotional areas I can finally "get to" and the stuff on this healing center site goes along with nicely with what I've been led to learn and practice over the past decade.

I've spent the past couple of months laying low and healing from the stuff I've finally had the strength (etc) to face. It's been such a challenge and I appreciate these techniques which I can work on in private at home while I am with our children all day. 

It's making a difference gradually. I'm finally in NO hurry and am happy with whatever pace I find myself in day by day.

I'm sharing an affiliate link with you in case you get a nudge to take a peek too. If you sign up for the healing center through my link, I will earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.  Click the image below to learn more.

Feel free to email me at exuberantforlife@gmail.com if you have questions, or comment below and I'll get back with you as soon as I'm able.  

Inner Life (an intermission)

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As I'm going along dealing FINALLY with all sorts of stuff I could not get to before, I am needing to take a bit of a break from sharing with you.  I have some posts in draft form and simply do not have the strength, energy or will to get the editing finished even though it would take me a bit longer than it will to write this whole thing for you!

To give you some context, when I was about 12 years old I hugged my Grandma goodby one fine day and she gave me a smooch.  She had a cold sore on her lip and since then I've had them erupt on and off.  They are NEVER fun.

I've been SO happy not to have had any in a long time.

Last weekend I was very ill with an out-of-nowhere migraine headache which when exposed to any daylight caused vomiting.  I felt terrible all that day...and though the next day I was better, a small bump developed on my lip the following week.

I didn't pay much attention to it AT ALL..and in fact forgot to do the usual things to help the ity bity flare-up cease and desist.  Instead what happened was it began to ooze and ooze and burn and ooze and SPREAD (so gross AND contagious!!!)...and now I have a huge burning patch of I-dunno-what under my bottom lip all the way to my chin.  It's as though the oozing continues and scabs and then each time I talk or eat it opens some of the healing places.  😳

Well, lemme tell you there's a lot of deliverance and inner healing going on...all in areas far beyond my reach until now and I'm reminded of the principle that my body has kept score. In other words, it's letting to of a life time of JUNK.   That's really good news!!!!

However...

..tonight I finally had the courage to look at it under a magnified mirror and was saddened to see what's happening.  While it IS getting better it is still very much in need of help.  So...I have cleaned it throughly, dabbed with hydrogen peroxide, let it dry and then sprayed it with peppermint oil.  Once that dried a bit I gobbed on lots of vitamin E creme.

It looks so horrible that I couldn't bare to let my hubby and kids see it for fear of worrying or disgusting them (plus I think keeping it from air, etc is a wise move), so I covered it with cotton pads and stuck them down gently with bandages.  While this might seem like no big deal, I know I need to not talk and not eat tonight in order to give it all a huge chance to heal.  My flapping jaw isn't good for that new skin growth making it's way underneath all that nastiness.

I am very grateful the past two nights I've been able to sleep pretty well.  For two nights before that it was oozing so badly I couldn't rest as I had to keep dabbing the nasty stuff!!  😰

I don't normally talk about such gross stuff...and the only reason I'm telling you now is because it HURTS and I'm trying not to cry.  My nerves feel super raw and I need comfort...and so I will plop myself down on the deck where the flowers and fruits, veggies and herbs grow and the birds flutter around doing their lovely things and I will read the great book I'm in the middle of.  I might sneak down some sort of liquid protein through a straw in order to give in and take some over-the-counter pain meds.  I hate to take anything like that unless I have to...yet I know this stress I'm feeling from the pain is apt to cause my body to react even more.  😷

Oh, and I'll work through PM's 3 steps to emotional healing too, because all this healing is sometimes....well, PAINFUL.  Worth it, of course,  yet 😢

Once I have my strength back, I'll get working on some posts for ya.  I have a lot of things to share which have come to light!!

Inner Life Part 4

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As I face what IS and what HAS been in order to decide what I want FROM NOW ON to look like, I am grateful for glimmers of light, helping hands and healing words along the way.  The journey in G*d and with Him is one entire aspect of reality...and the walk with others and myself another.

Learning I am an exhorter type of person really helps me frame things so I understand better.  It helps me accept how G*d made me one of the seven templates for humanity.  Lots of words, big ideas, exuberance for His life all around is part of the makeup of what's okay about me.

For people who've been reared by someone with cluster B personality disorders (including narcissism) there are some really dismal realities they face.  Taking the bull by the horns as my mother would say and dealing with it all takes no small amount of courage.  While I am aware of many things I lack, courage isn't usually one of them.

Learning of my energy type has been an interesting study as well.

Allow me to back up.

When the mother in your life believes the worst about you, cannot encourage, support or love you in a way you need and verbally assaults you more often than not, there's a need for finding out what's true and good and right about yourself.  Too, the nasty things spoken need to be neutralized and then good things added.  In other words, when the person God gave you to be the nurturer instead sows thorns and thistles into your life, it DOES things to a person.  It takes time and commitment to Truth and a willingness to be stripped bare in order for new life to be sown.  Then it takes time for those good seeds to germinate and bring forth good things.  How I am grateful for the Gentle Gardner!

Others who have been healed from a childhood of assaults by a parent have my full respect and attention. I have appreciated receiving truth and life from those who've faced the abuse and all the scary and upsetting things which go along with not being safe in the home of your youth.  I'll share more about that some other time.