To honor what I feel is the LORD's leadership, I am working to reconstruct Exuberant for Life (EFL). I am very excited (and a bit nervous!) about the changes.
Please stay tuned for the next phase!!
You will see things changing as some content is removed while new stuff is added. Some posts will be temporarily unavailable, as I work on re-coding, re-designing and getting ready to launch the new products and other stuff.
In the mean time, you're welcome to subscribe and follow this site by email. Too, I'd love to hear from you! Leave comments below.
I am sorry for those of you who have tried to use a payment button somewhere here. Somehow I had messed up the HTML coding and none of the buttons were working!
Thanks to the friendly man at Paypal today I was able to troubleshoot the problem and reload the Coaching button.
I have updated my coaching availability also, so please check it out!
I am no longer offering coaching subscriptions by online payment. Instead you can just pay per month for whichever coaching session works for you. You should be able to use Paypal now for bank card purchases. Thank you so much for your patience and encouragement as I seek to equip the saints for the work of the ministry.
Thanks to invaluable feedback from Mrs. F, today I will begin working to update the format, taking all the personal update stuff and plopping it someplace special.
I will be giving EFL a face lift and changing the way things flow.
I so appreciate your patience as I build this from what bubbles within. Please stay "tuned."
I realized and found words for something I have long known but could not utter.
"I AM SCARED."
Of what, or of whom?
Well, without giving you all the details, I was scared for a good reason. I mean, it wasn't good what happened, but it DID happen and being scared is the way God has wired the brain to respond in that sort of situation.
So...after nearly 45 years, I can finally say, "I AM SCARED OF...."
How simple and absolutely profound this is to me. I think those in my life closest to me probably knew I was scared of...but somehow in all the years, "You are scared of...," never happened until this weekend.
It's weird to be an adult who rarely experienced someone attuning to me. My feelings were mostly ignored, inconvenient and a downright bother. It has taken me THIS long to find them, hear them, FEEL them and then get a clue about what they're called. It's very slow going and completely awkward.
It's supposed to happen in early childhood before pushing through those elementary school doors.
God has wired our brains to feel and to name it for ourselves by the time we're four years old. With two sweet toddlers to experiment on, I can say it's very possible, but only IF we have a happy helper going along with us in life who is paying attention enough to recognize what we are feeling and then name it.
I remember squirming when I first read the term, "Adult Infant." Oh, no!! Drooling on ourselves was the joke...we knew we were messed up but didn't know what was wrong. Not having a clue how to feel, name or manage our own emotions caused a lot of ...well...embarrassing moments to say the least.
I marvel that I am still without that particular kind of human helper (aside from maybe these inner parts?). Sometimes it feels lonely to have to work on it with God alone. *sigh* He meant for me to have a happy human helper. He meant for all of us to have that.
I pause now to worship Him who helps us when our human helpers do not.
Me (while reaching out toward Samuel who'd been working a while on getting his two shirt buttons to cooperate):
"I see you struggling with the top button on your shirt. I have trouble sometimes with my buttons, too. Want me to help? I'd like to."
Samuel (continuing to focus intently on his work): "I wemembered you said big boiys can do hawd sings."
He's four.
I'm forty three.
I grasped him and cried on his neck a little...all while he kept working til he got it.
What a mystery and wonder it is to follow the Holy Spirit on this journey of motherhood when I feel like an abyss of nothing so much of the time. A.Ma.Zing.
Feeling emotionally far away from our husbands is
face it...NOT fun.
It can be demoralizing, especially as Christian women, to know we're the helpmeet and yet feel so far away from doing whatever it is we need to.
Respect our husbands....submit
ourselves to them...okay great. But HOW?
In reality, there are a whole lot of us who didn't
see that modeled growing up. No offense to anyone who came before
us; if they didn't have the information (having it modeled to them)
then it makes sense they didn't have it to show us.
A lot of our moms were BUSY and
emotionally not able to build into their marriages. Lots of our
dads and granddads were taken out of the family...either by divorce,
death or ideas that they weren't emotionally needed.
Or maybe feminisims' fingers crept into
the family line, strangling until God's intended life is all
but squeezed out.
The whole art of respecting men has
been sort of lost in our culture. I understand the concept of
respect being earned...but giving it is really important as a way of
extending basic human dignity. I think a man deservers respect
because He is made in God's image and God deserves our respect. The God part of every man needs respect.
The reality of the frailty of mankind
is worth noting at this point. Not every man or woman has walked as
God intended. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. Many of
us have the marriages to prove it.
How can we, God's women, grafted into
the family of God by the blood of our Lord Jesus, honor Him as wives
to imperfect men?
It's a challenge I put before you
today...because I think our culture is completely desperate, and
depends on our men being the Life Givers God created them to be.
Take a look at this video to see what I
mean.
Women are altruistic. At least more so
than men. They will do for others. Men? Not so much. They are born
different, set on taking care of number one. They have to be taught,
through extraordinary and extreme measures, HOW to care for someone
other than themselves. Being a life giver as a male is something
that must be learned. A good upbringing allows these skills to be developed through appropriate, useful hardship.
Women need men to help care for the
life they carry. The man's sperm is what carries life into our
potential...and we need their help to care for the life we love to
bring into the world. We steward the life and we need their help to do it. I am convinced life
originates with the very masculinity of men.
Often we are turned off because we
experienced (or someone in our generations passed down the
burden/memory/pain/abuse/fear etc) the damage when a man is not life giving. Those
moments are memorable and unfortunately can cause a rupture in the
trust we are created to have. Hopeful daughters is the hope of society.
I know there's a lot wrong going on out there and in our families and homes, churches and businesses.
Let's
be honest ladies. There is also a lot wrong going on within us.
We sometimes don't know how to feel; we
have a hard time trusting. We blame and accuse and do the opposite
of respect.
We aren't always worthy of being cherished yet we long for it and sometimes demand it.
Let's be real here.
It's time to resuscitate God's ways for
marriage...and it' possible even within this ungodly culture.
Part of what I've been working on, as some of you know, is trying to figure out how to get audio up and running. I figured it would work, but to no avail.
Wednesday, Michelle and I recorded our first ever video...and I spent all that evening and the entire next day editing it and getting it ready to share. I am VERY excited...and hope you will like it. It's really for a very specific audience. It is the 3 part introduction to the series on narcissism.
Turns out writing a book isn't as easy as nattering away on camera. Who knew??? I certainly did not.
I have finished uploading it to my newly built EFL youtube channel and eagerly await it's emergence into cyberspace. Once I get the inner nudge to release it publicly, I will share it.
I will celebrate tonight, in some quiet way.
This is all so new and exciting....my first ever Exuberant for Life Productions Presentation!!!
After some physical, mental and emotional struggles last week, I felt nudged to begin asking God for an overhaul in my inner world. My mind needs major renewing in order to accept who I really am...and in order to walk out what God has next for me.
I have spent such a long time pinched in by circumstances I could NOT control, learning how to live life leveraging everything I could get my hands on so to speak. What I've been doing/thinking has been fine...but I can tell I really need to position myself to think completely different than I have been about me, my future, possibilities, using my gifts and talents, etc.
I wondered what it would look like if I ever got to this point. I'm not sure yet because I cannot yet feel/see/sense it, but have a very clear idea that I need God to give me vision and purpose for the next season of my life. I am pretty sure He's given me the "good and faithful servant - well done!" sticker on the season I am nearly done with.
It's exciting. At the same time I feel pretty worn out. I am blessed to be able to spend some time soon just pampering myself- away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I really NEED a break and God has rigged it so I can take one. I have a hunch He will be nudging me more often.
I have the idea this break will be to rest and re-callibrate...to let Him pour into me a new vision, understanding and perspective of where I am and where I'm headed. I have some lofty ideas which will need to be wrestled back into their proper places...
I need a time of surrendering again everything I am and have to Him. I feel like nearly two decades of excruciating labor are over...and I don't really have any idea what's next but I know it's going to be very different in possibly every way (I wasn't going to add "possibly" but then my fingers snuck it in at the request of my tempted-to-limit-myself brain.)
Anyway, I figured I'm not only one who could use some comprehensive good news. I nearly called this website Compressive Connections rather than Exuberant for Life. Soo...Dr. Caroline's Leaf good news today really started to water my dry places this morning as I dozed in a later than usual.
I really hope you enjoy this...it's phenomenal on so many levels. I am honored to be co-heirs with you and her. Christ's inheritance is ours and I am coming into agreement with everything that means for me. Period.
Blessings as you walk out wherever you are on your life's journey.
For those of you who are my precious coaching clients, I have finally taken a moment to update that pesky paypal button which was not working for email subscriptions.
If you want to have your coaching subscription billed automatically, you can now sign up here. I hope it works! You can still chose the same increments.
In case you're looking for an audio file, we have true news.
There aren't any available yet. Today I cancelled our sound cloud and podomatic accounts, erasing all the audio.
My goal is to re record the Narcissism series using higher quality equipment for sound and editing as well as host it completely on our own here on EFL. Much progress is being made behind the scenes a little most every day.
I appreciate your patience as I work through the details for getting the best quality materials to you.
As for the book on narcissism, the rough draft is now in the laptop! This is a major event. So far there are 19 chapters and I am working through adding material here and there as I am able.
My idea for now is to record the audio series based on the structures within the book so there will be more congruency between the two.
I think this will be a way I can offer you more product (words) for less cost and time over the long haul.
Thanks to a donor, we were able to locate and upload this audio clip today which was recorded January 18, 2017. This 18+ minute clip details several components of our EFL vision, where we are with the Narcissism book/podcasts, specifics of how you can help and a bit about our story. It's a good place to jump in if you're wanting to get a feel for Exuberant for Life and what we're about.
There were so many things I needed and did NOT need when pregnant and as my babies grew. Here I share links to a few companies (and products) I think you might like during those stages of life.
"Our human spirit is responsive. When it is ignored, it will atrophy. When it is nurtured it will grow.
Truth is the nutrient that most powerfully transforms your spirit. Your spirit needs to know the truth about you and about God. Some of that truth is spoken by the Spirit of God to your spirit and some is input that you deliberately seek.
This book is a series of blessings designed to leverage the growth of your spirit. It begins with a fathering theme. For 40 days, legitimacy and identity are explored from the Father's perspective. Then after we have seen ourselves from God's perspective, He invites us to see Him. There are 21 more days of blessings flowing from the names of God.
Finally at the end of the book there is a list of verses that describe the range of activities and emotions of the human spirit. These are designed to help you develop a working theology of your own spirit.
This tool can significantly improve your marriage and your relationship with your children. The most exciting transformation through is when you become much more at peace with yourself and when you discover facets of your own nature that you did not know were there."
Kate says: I received this book as a gift from the author. Honestly, I need to buy two cases because I am always loaning it out. I think I have bought several individual copies and cannot keep them on my own personal shelf. EXCEPTIONAL book for nurturing our inner man. Everyone who reads it says it completely waters very dry places. You can read more as I blabber on about how much I appreciate the whole issue of the inner man here. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!
"Instead of preaching what mothers ought to do, psychotherapist Naomi Stadlen explains what mothers already do in the course of any exhausting day's work. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day?
Stadlen's wise reflections, threaded throughout with the voices of real mothers, explore unsentimental reactions to motherhood-resentment, guilt, splintered identity, crippling inefficiency, and deadening fatigue. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom."
Kate says: Of all the books I have read about being a Mother, this one stands out above the rest. Lots of books are great to understand how to help a growing child, but none is better than this to explain the unique work of a mother TUNING IN to her baby. It is extraordinary and I highly recommend it for anyone who's not sure what the job of a Mum is.
Designed for ages 3-5, and using age-appropriate language and illustrations, this book explains to young children the marvelous body God gave them.
"An award winning author steps into troubled waters writing books for children instructing them how to respond if a sexual predator makes an advance. The predator can be another child, a family friend, an older sibling, a sports coach, a church leader, or another relative. Yell and Tell is the first in the series of books addressing the subject of children dealing with sexual predators in a mature way.
Yell and Tell is written in a musical rhyme and rhythm that children love. They will also be more inclined to remember what they read by this type of writing. It is told in a simple story telling manner introducing a delightful young boy named Samuel to lead the way.
Children as young as four years old through pre-teens will find the story captivating, as well as instructional. Four times, young Samuel is discreetly challenged by his mother to consider how he should respond if he were faced with situations concerning sexual advances. Each time Samuel thinks his way through and responds by assuring his mother he will always yell and tell.
Giving a child this simple knowledge is arming them with wisdom to always yell and always tell. This is a priceless tool for parents as they seek to protect their children from those who seek them harm. "
"Might you and your baby both sleep better if you shared a bed? How old is too old for breastfeeding? What is a father's role in nurturing a newborn? How does early attachment foster a child's eventual independence? Dr. Bill and Martha Sears -- the doctor-and-nurse, husband-and-wife team who coined the term "attachment parenting" -- answer these and many more questions in this practical, inspiring guide. Attachment parenting is a style of parenting that encourages a strong early attachment, and advocates parental responsiveness to babies' dependency needs. "The Attachment Parenting Book" clearly explains the six "Baby B's" that form the basis of this increasingly popular parenting style: Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bedding close to baby, Belief in the language value of baby's cry, Beware of baby trainers.Here's all the information you need to achieve your most important goals as a new parent: to know your child, to help your child feel right, and to enjoy parenting."
"Studies in the 1950s revealed that young children hospitalized without their parents respond first by crying for them, then by showing signs of despair, and finally by emotionally detaching from the parents and acting indifferent to their absence. This detachment is hard to repair and highly detrimental to a child's development-most children who feel they cannot rely on their parents grow up to become more emotionally insecure and less self-assured than their peers.
The Attachment Connection sorts out the facts from the fiction about parent-child attachment and shows how paying attention to the emotional needs of your child, particularly during the first five years of development, can help him or her grow up happy, secure, and confident. You'll discover how your child's brain is developing at each stage of growth and learn to use reasonable, easy-to-implement guidelines based on sound science to foster secure attachment, healthy social skills, and emotional regulation in your child."
Boba Bay Wrap
95% Cotton/5% Spandex
Easy front and infant tying styles suit the way you move
Machine washable for the easiest of cleans
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Soft, stretchy material made of 95% Cotton, 5% Spandex for flexible comfort that lasts
Free from any harmful dyes or chemicals; Breastfeeding-ready any time and anywhere
Designer Baby Teething Necklace for Mom by Toddle Turtle, BPA Free 100 % Organic Silicone Is Safe and Non Toxic,Ease Teething Pain Fast, Teether Toy, Fun...
MADE WITH ORGANIC, 100% FOOD GRADE SILICONE beads; FDA-approved; non-toxic. No- BPA, PVC, phthalate, latex, lead, cadmium, or heavy metals
FULLY ADJUSTABLE LENGTH THAT GROWS WITH YOUR BABY! WE HAVE A LONGER DROP LENGTH cord then ALL of our competitors (16 " + falls below the breast line) which keeps your baby teether close at hand AND within easy reach for even the littlest babies while nursing, being held, or snuggling close to mom. If you prefer a shorter length or as your baby grows, you can simply clip the necklace to the desired length and replace the clasps.
NATURAL pain relief for your infant without using gels, tablets or medicine - soft pressure on babies gums helps to soothe discomfort that comes from cutting teeth - smart moms can look pretty in their teething bling while soothing a fussy baby.
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PEACE OF MIND – necklace is dishwasher safe and a good alternative to freezer teething rings, baltic amber beads, pacifiers, sophie giraffe teether or chew keys. Quick-release safety clasp protects your child from choking or pulling too hard on your neck.
"
