First, as I mentioned, I made sure kids knew the rules (no knocking, no emergencies, no this and that). Then I got myself all the drinks I'd need, went potty and then locked my bedroom door. I took a deep breath.
Made sure my diffuser was going strong and started playing WT. I grabbed by favorite afghan and my heating pad and plopped down on my bed with my big head hogging all the sunshine streaming through my (still closed) bedroom window. I got comfortable and then remembered I forgot to spray my bed with linen. *sigh* Oh well. Comfort will win even though I missed one of the things on my check list. I focused on the breathing techniques I'm learning from K. J.
I blessed my spirit (Ruach), my soul (nephesh) and my body to rest and connect with Father (God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob), Jesus (of Nazareth who came in the flesh) and the Holy Spirit. I immediately sensed tremendous peace...as I pondered the importance of me accepting and submitting to the work rest is for me.
I think I asked Them (the three in one) things though I'm not sure and don't remember what...I was fading pretty quickly.
I felt so surrounded and held by warmth. I laid on my right side with the heating pad on my chest and flung the afghan over top of me. I kept socks off so I wouldn't get too hot (it still looks like winter here). Honestly, I felt so nice, so relaxed...so PEACEFUL. I thought about shalom and how it's God's go to reality for our brains...the "feeling" He designed us to be in most of the time...and I actually fell SOUND asleep for 50 minutes!
This is big, folks.
It was midday. My house is full of children. AND I SLEPT. Peacefully.
Tell me a story of when you slept when you thought it was impossible. And let's chat about why we fear rest!! Some of us really, really fight it!!!
As I ponder my own journey, I realize I don't necessarily know what “inner healing” means exactly. My innards tell me it's all Isaiah 61 freedom and reality coming into a persons' reality and inner places.
It’s not a term I ever remember hearing during the decades I spent within the wonderful brick and mortar church systems which I had the honor of being part, where my soul learned to abandon to God. I had no idea then that I needed massive inner healing nor did I know I was wounded in ways other than needing to be reconciled to the Father and to R.O.T.C. Jesus (Rely on, Obey, Trust in and Cling to).
It is from that place -where I continually live- that I encourage another person to consider asking Him to teach them how to trust Him in order submit to themselves to Him in areas they previously could not…and then I have all this crazy energy to encourage them to keep going to Him to receive from Him the strength, grace and love needed while they traipse through the processes WITH HIM necessary for their own healing.
The stuff (skills, tools, principles, etc) I’ve acquired along the way gets incorporated into my being somehow and then I just sort of wing it all, letting Him and my spirit bring up whatever whenever. I am not technical or logical about any of it. I don’t have “official” training. I’ve read a lot, researched a lot, tried a lot of stuff but have been literally steered away from getting into any body’s specific “program” even though I tried to shove myself into other’s molds. What I do with myself and others is all intuitive, sensory and intense.
I don’t use worksheets or spreadsheets or keep track of anything. It feels very mystical! One lady I worked with has seen marvelous changes in her life…and I am SO humbled by that.
Do I “do” inner healing? Nope. I don’t think so.
As I look at today, I think God does the inner healing and I war on behalf of the person who is heading into a new season of letting Him in to those areas. That’s why I decided to do life coaching…because we can look at one issue (like “I’m having a hard time trusting God in an area”) and we drill down on that for however long it takes. My goal as a life coach is to never be needed again. My goal is for that person to have the practice over and over of going to God, hearing/seeing/receiving from Him in a way that they know that they know that they KNOW that He’s always there for them and they can ROTC (rely on, obey, trust in and cling to) Him themselves without any help whatsoever. One of the deepest revelations I ever received is that of the temple curtain being torn in two from top to bottom! We need no one between us and the Father because Jesus made the way for us to be reconciled to Him!
Sure, we can use some help along the way…I have receive SO much help along the way from so many awesome and amazing people…many who knew I just needed to get a grip and cling to Jesus in a particular area where I was prone (FOR VERY GOOD REASONS) to be terrified! There’s been all sorts of flavors and stuff happening in my life. And I so appreciate the modalities out there and think OHMYGOODNESS I would LOVE to have all them under my belt! Truth is, with a large and young family I just don’t have the mental space to learn all that stuff….so I decided to just offer what I am and what I do have and run with that. It’s really been helpful to a person or two…and since I have some measurable, verifiable, (etc) results, I can stand firm now in confidence saying I think this is something Papa has for me to do… What will it look like? I have NO idea.
Honestly the place I can be most helpful with someone else is only as I continue to be open and receptive to the Holy Spirit's work within me. From that place I love to encourage others that it's okay to trust Him and to assure them He can do that work (whatever work He wants/needs to do) within them. I come into agreement with Him and them for whatever they have faith for…we walk through the emotional components of trusting...and I love helping people learn to feel their own feelings when there's been decades of stuffing, running, hiding, etc.
I don't have set tools or methods...I just sort of attune to Him, myself and the other persons’ spirit and soul and then wing it. No two people have the same set of traumas, triggers, lies, etc…in other words no one is dealing with the same set of negative and positive numbers. There’s all sorts of variance. Also, I’m always at a new place each day…so that’s another set of variables to throw into the mix.
As far as results, so far I see consistently that it's lovely for the other person (when I walk with them)…as somehow my faith in Him transfers to them…and they are able to position themselves to receive the good and perfect gifts He has for them..in their life with God, in their life with themselves and with others. It’s not academic, logical, plottable, predictable or any of that. HE SHOWS UP AND HE WINS. Their freedom becomes their reality…and boom! Life is forever different from that time on. I soon fade away into the distance as a faint memory...which is just the way I like it.
Time and again they experience major life changing shifts within themselves that no one can take away. I well know the faith in me is God’s gift to me and that in passing it onto them they are able to believe for more than they did before. I know too, that's not my doing in anyway, but that they get the faith to believe He can and will...and then we both watch as He does His lovely stuff in them and we marvel and rejoice and celebrate…broken vessels being filled to overflowing. When I share from my place of certainty (aka faith), they are more able to trust and feel safe letting Him into those guarded, broken and wounded places.
My style is completely relationally oriented. I love, love, LOVE surrendering myself, asking and trusting God to heal (etc) me, and then doing the work of adjusting to the new me which seems to pop up so regularly.
"To live is to change. To live best is to change most." ~H.N.
Do you agree??
I would love to hear your thoughts.
What does inner healing mean to you? I always grow most when I can seen things from someone else's perspective.
Today I'm working on a Plog...an audio journal I'll turn into a podcast of my day doing "Nothing" at home with the kids. It's been a really productive day in some areas I've needed to get to...so that feels really good.
A lady I know is hosting a Facebook group for blessing the human body. The blessing for the exhorter day of creation is one I thought would land well and be easiest to receive...yet so far I'm hitting wall after wall. I admitted this to her, even though I felt VERY dumb...and come to find out WOW did she have some awesome ideas for me.
I have never felt okay resting. Sure, I can sit down a lot and I can stop working...but to actually disengage my mind and body? TORTURE.
She mentioned my vagus nerve and something else I don't remember from advanced biology class. I went to Dr. Axe's site to see what he had to say. I decided to drink some Singing Canary which I just paid Ruth a buck to make for me.
I really need a NAP.
But really, even though today I am initiating the first ever two hour leave-mom-alone time frame, I realize I am afraid of those two hours. They're nearly upon me and I'm stalling...writing you...and hoping I don't die a thousand deaths in that "me" time.
Sure, I need to spend time with Jesus. My prayer closet gets plenty of me time...but there's something insidious I just realized....something that's lurking that's been there and then reinforced a long time.
I'll expand more on it later...for now I'll just say in my life growing up I was NOT permitted to rest. I was allowed to waste decades of my life doing nothing of worth or value, but REST was not okay. I was always "ON" knowing at any moment I might be needed or hollered at for something. THAT WAS A CONSTANT, stressful struggle.
Fast forward to nearly 16 years ago when I brought my first child into the world. I no longer EVER felt I had one single second to myself. The stories are so numerous and I think my nervous system (or someplace) is holding onto the idea that I still have to be "on" always.
So today is the first day of working to shut that off/down. I think I will take a nap. The kids all know if there's a dire emergency they can knock...otherwise LEAVE ME BE. They've got movies ready from the weekend that they didn't get to watch cuz they were lazy with their chores. No running outside; doors locked; quietness prevailing.
We'll see how it goes. Can I let my hair down? Well, I chopped it off cuz I just dunno how to do that. Let's see what happens.
Hello and welcome to the second post in the series called Honoring the King within Marriage. You can read part one HERE.
As I share in the podcast and subsequent info below, I'm excited for God's people to know about resources created by people who understand the importance of knowing and living by principles.
Principle.
Noun.
A fundamental,primary,orgenerallawortruth fromwhichothersarederived:
theprinciplesofmodernphysics.
To hear today's audio blurb, please listen to the podcast below.
For more info and resources, please continue reading!
From Laura Doyle's Facebook page today I noticed she's hosting a free webinar again! It's for any wives who are interested in renewing intimacy with their husbands.
Husbands: please feel free to forward this to your wives or others if you think they'll be interested. There's a share button at the bottom of this post. Feel free to copy and past the link to this page/post, too.
Personally, I think Laura's stuff is awesome as she shares marital principles which are much needed for many of us who lack skills and knowledge. I went through her free webinar about six months ago and loved it. Whenever I apply the principles she shares my hubby immediately notices the difference.
I'm signing up again because I need to hear this more than once!!
Here's what she writes about the webinar:
"Women, are you looking to renew the spark with your significant other?
In this FREE webinar, I want to teach you the secrets to empowering your man, getting respect and reconnecting within your relationship. I'll teach you how to use your feminine gifts to ignite his "hero gene," critical ways to express your desires, a few key steps you can take today to feel more confident and so much more - all in the name of making your relationship easy and peaceful again.
Will you join me and countless others in renewing the spark in our relationships? It all starts by signing up for this FREE webinar. Don't delay - learn how to transform your relationship for the better today."
Last and definitely NOT least, here is Mark Gungor, author of many books and dvd's and Pastor behind the brilliant Mark Gungor Show. Click the image below to learn more and to purchase the DVD for your home, church, study group, etc.
I love talking about making marriage better. To read more, you can check out another blog I started called Pioneering Again. [I'm still sorting out how to streamline the information & resources since EFL covers a broad range of much needed stuff.] What are YOUR thoughts, feelings and experiences? I'd love to hear from YOU! Please comment below or send me an email! Blessings on your journey to honor the King of Kings within marriage and to encourage those who do! ~Kate
As I train up children, one son of the five is especially gifted in the art of knowing his own mind. Washing, drying and putting away the family dishes (with no machines to help) has been his particular and recent scene of battle as it was for a brother before him. This son has never been shy to express his opinions and that particular work has been distasteful to him since day one.
Yesterday, I had planned a very special outing for Valentine's Day. Since the weather has been 20 degrees F (-6 Celsius) and lower for months, we were due to experience temperatures in the 40's (4 Celsius). A trip was planned to traipse up our hill, dig out the snow and get a nice fire blazing. Hot dogs and s'mores were ready for roasting. We were set to enjoy the 2nd annual We Can Conquer the Long Winter Festival on our families three acres. I was so eager.
The one stipulation I required was that everyone's chores had to be done by 3 pm. No exceptions. In our home, chores are a significant part of the work, training and educational component of our children's lives. With the furnace finally working after being on the fritz for two weeks we were enjoying consistent warmth throughout our little home.
As a humorous challenge, in the early afternoon the plumbing system seized and we had yet another unusual challenge to face. Daughter faced it with her usual tenacity while a son rose to the occasion to trouble shoot and communicate the trouble to those who could help after he did all he could (which was significant). Three of the other sons were dutiful to work on their chores with good attitudes and it looked like we were all set.
HOWEVER.
We win or loose together.
The son who hates the job of dishes (and who can blame him, really?) found numerous reasons NOT to get his work done.
I've been there. Done that. You?
With my life often affected by dire things I couldn't get a handle on, I often could not keep thoughts in my head long enough to keep children accountable for their choices and actions/inaction (long, sordid story!). Yesterday was different and I stood my ground.
The result? NO CAMPFIRE.
There were tears and shouts of protest from the two five year olds who were devastated with anger and disappointment. The older three who had kept up with their chores kept their thoughts and feelings mostly to themselves as I suppose they might have been remembering times and events when they were the cause of similar disappointments due to the inevitable human "I don't want to" attitude.
This morning (and this is really the reason I'm writing this for you) that son came to me with dish towel and wet plate in hands, set his head upon my shoulder and told me how bad he feels that everyone lost out on the campfire because of him.
Short moral to the story?
Mazur family for the win!
As I have pondered raising boys vs raising men, I am moved with respect by the processes of letting people reap what they sow...and how that work in and of itself is primarily able to cause boys to be men. Not cruelty, unkindness or tough rules....just letting God's ways work as He intended them. Sometimes I think clearing away the mental clutter in order to simply let God's ways work their Wonder is some of the most challenging stuff a family and culture can face.
Has God left us alone without help as we rear our families and affect our culture? Nope. His truths and treasures and ways are clear to know and do with His leadership unique for each family and situation and culture.
And now, thanks to Him, I have a son who is going from boy to little man, who is shifting from being one who loves to do what he wants to whenever he feels like it to a little man who understands that what he does (and doesn't do) affects the people he loves.
And he came to me for solace at his actions! What an honor! What trust I have earned in this strong one!
I'm sure something in the frontal part of his brain is now stronger, as is my respect for him and possibly his for others.
And me? After a really long season stuck in doors I am celebrating that even in the midst of cold and dark seasons in life, love always wins and new things bloom and blossom eventually.
The hero honestly in all of this? Of course it is my hubby, who will remain nameless because he's always so needing time alone to recharge his enormous inner batteries after working so fearlessly to train these five men while at the same time being kind and loving to the two women who reside and live along side him. Not an easy task, I assure you, for oodles of reasons.
To all of you who are pouring into children, and especially the male ones, I send my great big blessings to you as you allow their masculinity to thrive while also helping steer things so they can become protectors and helpers. May they be sensitive to and tend well to their own needs as well as those of others, asking for help unashamedly whenever they need it. May you help them learn to choose what's right when they really do not want to. It's no easy task. And may you mom's and dad's be refresh and renewed as you do the most important work on earth: tending to the needs of your own families!
Hi Everybody!!!! I don't have time to write out a post today for you all so here it is in audio format! It's in two parts. The first podcast (in orange) is about 8 minutes long. Click the triangle button below to listen.
See a sample of strengths below. It's a glimpse of my top five. :)
Are you interested in taking the test for yourself? You can get an access code to take the test and get your top five strengths when you buy the audio book below.
Click below to hear a sample of the audio book below now.
These two men together have really helped me understand the book (above) and why it's important. The video below helped me a lot. Watch by clicking on the video box below.
I looked at a lot of videos yesterday. I'm hoping this is the one I watched. My hubby is an achiever and I never saw it until yesterday...Jimmy's stories are SO helpful for me to see what's been going on and how to go forward. Click the box below to see another great video.
Other books I really liked for marriage help:
Click below to read about this book which we both REALLY got a lot out of:
Click below to hear an audio sample of this book which was SO helpful for me!
I'm eager to hear about your strengths, too! Please feel free to comment and share below!
Do you know how to help yourself when you're REALLY mad? Do you know how to feel mad or do you shove it, etc? I didn't know how to feel it or much of anything and the reason why is too long a story for today.
Did you try to speak out and no one listened? Or were you shamed for expressing your feelings and taught they were best felt in solitude? It's time for some light on that!!
You can now listen to YOURSELF...You can be the parent to yourself that you needed then. Too, the good news is God can parent you while you parent yourself. He can also parent you when you're out of ideas!!!
Did you have help learning how to feel mad (etc) and stay in relational mode? Yeah, right. Me either.
If you didn't, some of the videos below show examples of what nurturing looks like. It's mind boggling for those of us who for whatever reason come from family units where emotions were NOT handled well.
The videos cover several emotions a child experiences.
So whether you're new to the idea of giving dignity to your emotions (or someone elses), caring for children who have feelings, or dealing with yourself or others who feel stuff, I recommend watching all of these short videos!!
In order to to feel with God we need to know:
1) that what we're feeling is OKAY always
2) that He designed feelings as part of our human experience and therefore HE gives us dignity and permission to FEEL them
3) We don't know what it's called (the feeling) unless someone who knows tells us. God can attune to us by the Holy Spirit and teach us the names of our own feelings. He knows what we're feeling and to feel is to heal!!!
(Personal note: I think these videos helped me massively understand and imagine so I can picture how I needed to be treated, how I can let God attune to and help me so I can receive His comfort rather than fight or resist it. It also massively helped me see how I can treat the parts within me or others that are still waiting for someone to name them and what they're feeling and validate that they have the right to feel what they've been feeling for me all my life since I wasn''t able to feel my own stuff then because it was too much without helpers...)
Note: the concept of attuning is SO important....and is an aspect of what the Coursey's do so well in the videos below. To learn more about what attuning is and why it's SO vital, you can visit HERE for some short video explanations.
First, watch as Daddy Chris Coursey helps do the work of attuning when child is ANGRY:
Here child is afraid...very afraid...well done Mom and Dad!
Here, Mommy Jen Coursey helps little man as he deals with being really frustrated.
New experiences can be overwhelming. Having help from someone who's paying attention, watching and listening while also having words for us is WONDERFUL.
Since so many of our parents did NOT have this stuff done for them, they had NO idea how to do it with us. So...we often were neglected or abused when we needed THIS sort of help.
The good news? God wired our brains to feel our big right brained emotions and get back to shalom/peace within ninety seconds by the time we're four years old. If a child can learn it with trial and error, time and help, SO CAN WE. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Please note: according to Dr Jim Wilder we need to be at a certain level of maturity in order to do this. He says if we are at level one, we need other needs met first.
Where is your maturity? Peek here to learn more about that.
If you're at a certain level, in my experience with myself, my six children ages 5-15 and others who are adults of all ages, you can work with yourself and your parts and be gentle with them. Dr Wilder's PAIN lab explains the timing and the math behind any addiction and what's going on. I appreciate his wrist watch info and have tested it out to be very true.
(Sexual) Addiction Part 5: Pain Lab
Remember there's also another component to keep in mind...getting a handle on this aspect of our life in Christ is a HUGE component in this process, too and can be hindering the processes quite severely:
How To Be Delivered: Derek Prince
Finally, blessings to you and thanks SO much for reading and watching. Keep pressing on!!!!
If you'd like life coaching, please visit here for a listing of helpers available.
I have SO much passion when I think about Jesus' discipleship...oh, how I could say so much about that! Instead, I will share what I just received: an email invitation to this webinar. I just signed up! See if it's something you're interested in too.
Oh, and I generally and most often think of the "church" as God's Beloved - His Bride rather than the building/meeting place. I think it refers to people ("the Church") as opposed to a place. Exuberant
Blessings, Kate
Changing the Way the Church Makes Disciples
The church has failed to produce spiritually-minded, emotionally mature, relationally connected followers of Jesus Christ. They are, instead, producing an ever-increasing number of stuck, stalled, and dissatisfied Christians.
Why? The model for discipleship in the church is incomplete.
While the goal is to see every Christian experiencing a deeper walk with God, there are obstacles on the path that keep this from happening.
Faulty Belief Systems (this is deeper than mere doctrine)
Lack of Belonging (lost of identity and Christian community)
Emotional Baggage (lack of healing blocks maturity)
Bondage to Sin (with no idea of how to get free)
Discover the discipleship model helping people identify and overcome these obstacles that keep them from a deeper walk with God.
This is how we fix the broken discipleship factory,
we change the way the church makes disciples!
